Somewhere deep in a luxurious underground lair, a hand strokes the fur of a cat. A white cat. Except it’s not Blofeld, it’s Boris. And it’s not a cat: Boris is tousling his hair into that trademark mess.
This is not SPECTRE, it’s COBRA. In attendance around the walnut desk are the chief executive of the UK Health Security Agency, the Chief of the Defence Staff, the Attorney General and ‘C’, the chief of MI6. They’re meeting in secret – without any other ministers present – in order to concoct a plan to spread a deadly virus around the world, for the public good. (The room should be smoke-filled, but obviously that’d be implausible.)
The background. For a seeming eternity, the country had been locked in repeated cycles of economic catastrophe, deep in the midst of a public health crisis. Death’s younger brother, who’s still awaiting his performance evaluation, has been stalking the land.
On the table they had the outline of the plan, neatly typed-up and bound with red tape, titled “Operation FAILSAFE”. It aimed to solve the crisis and restore the country to normalcy. A plan so audacious that nobody who heard about it could possibly credit it.
For decades, it’d been accepted practise to release chemicals into the environment – and into the bodies of the populace – to improve health. Fluoride, chlorine, and less successfully the Spice Girls. But now, following a nearly year-and-a-half-long experiment at the super-secret Porton Down defence research establishment, the boffins had hit paydirt. Their mission: to create a new, “safe” variant of COVID-19 that would confer immunity against other, more deadly variants. And they had succeeded.
Beginning as far back as April 2020, the 20B clade of SARS-Cov-2 (a variant then in circulation in England) was sealed for later use, and Porton Down immediately put in an order for a huge quantity of laboratory mice.
Delivery was slow, but as soon as the mice arrived they were all then subjected to an intense barrage of science. Reader, they injected them. And finally, bewildered but impressed, the mice at last gave birth at the beginning of October 2021 to the new “safe” variant. A telephone call was placed to the Ministry of Defence HQ on the super-secret “Brown Line” (so named because you might have to be sitting down to take such a call from a biological weapons eastablishment). Those plucky Brits had done it!
But because they had done it, now this crazy, far-fetched, last-resort plan suddenly needed a decision to be made. Do we release it into the wild? Until then, it had always been thought that vaccines could be found to solve the crisis. But that hadn’t really panned out. Now, approaching the dreaded winter months, would anyone give this plan the green light? Only a dozen people knew about it, thus far. But someday the world might find out, and… well, try explaining that on Marr.
If all went wrong, it could mean disaster. The endless lawsuits, the probable fall of the Government. Not to mention the lasting damage done to U.K. diplomatic relations with other countries baying for blood. To deliberately release a dangerous virus – even one made safer by rigorous scientific endeavour – was a hugely risky undertaking. So, first call the lawyers.
The Attorney General pointed out that the treaty governing biological weapons didn’t apply: the intention was merely “prophylactic, protective and peaceful”. It couldn’t be a crime against humanity: the purposes were benign. And why ask people to come in for jabs, when you can take the jabs to them? But what about the effects of even a benign policy? Could the “virus-as-a-vaccine” even work? Inevitably, human trials had to be undergone before the lawyer could sign off: that would be essential in the event of being found out. This is what lawyers think about.
But the subjects could only be those few who knew about this work. And like Barry Marshall, the Nobel Prize-winning discoverer of the bacterium that causes stomach ulcers, the Porton Down researchers were up to the task. They knew, like everyone, that another lockdown was unaffordable: businesses were on the ropes and the public had had enough. Even they, as public-sector employees, might be unsafe. It was time for a Col. H. Jones-style push to the top. So they infected themselves, and it worked.
But how to release this “safe” variant? They knew that it was infectious enough that even a limited release would be effective; but it couldn’t happen in the U.K.: fingers might be pointed, especially given how Wuhan got found out. It had to happen in a country far, far away.
An automatic door swooshed, and in walked ‘C’. Taking much-needed time away from screening the latest Bond film, he’d spoken to virologists and knew he couldn’t just FedEx it in a package to South Africa. It had to taken there by a human, who had to travel there before being infected and then deliberately infecting themself in-country, thereafter spreading it around widely and making sure the local government labs would be the first ones to discover it. “This can all be arranged,” ‘C’ said, before walking out of the room, his cape flapping in the air-conditioned breeze, dagger at his side.
And so it came to that fateful COBRA meeting at the beginning of November 2021. The air was tense, while remaining sanitary and smoke-free, as Boris uttered the legally non-culpable words: “Will no-one rid me of this ruinously expensive problem?” Not referring to Carrie, obviously. The plan was approved and the rest, as they say, is hysteria.
But by golly, it appears to have worked.
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excellent idea. The basis should be the return of formal debating in which people have to propose motions with which they may disagree and the result judged dispassionately, not by a vote on the floor but by teachers marking the structure of the arguments. Not easy I know but it’s a great challenge.
Teachers marking? I assume you haven’t met many teachers!
Are teachers the ‘professionals’ for whom the Education Secretary is seeking a 9% pay rise? Those lily livered pond life who were happily complicit in denying a proper education to our children, driven by their unions who are now threatening to strike?
They need to have their salaries reduced, not enhanced and their right to strike withdrawn.
Unprincipled bastards
It’s going to be a bit of an effort when you get the full idea of what TEACHERS think the kids should be taught.
Appalling must watch video from an Irish teaching union
https://twitter.com/FatEmperor/status/1542463974117183488
With thanks to Ivor Cummins
I hesitated to click on this because I knew it would infuriate me, but I did. Unbelievable.
When I was 7 or 8 I identified as a boy. I worse boys clothes, had a boys hair cut, climbed trees and skinned my knees and even belonged to the local cub group because it was run by my mother and it was more convenient for her to take me with her. I despised brownies as sissies. Guess what? I was a tomboy, and like most other tomboys I grew out of it at puberty. God knows what would have happened to me these days! Come to think of it, tomboy is a word you don’t hear now either. (Probably deemed offensive or something)
Years ago, before I mistrusted the BBC, the author Val McDermid, (who I dislike due to her stance on Independence, masks, vaccines etc), made this point beautifully……basically, as a girl she was a tomboy, preferring football and traditional “boy” pursuits. She later found herself attracted to her own sex and has always been in lesbian rather than heterosexual relationships.
AT NO POINT EVER felt that those childhood traits or sexual preferences signified she was the “wrong” gender, simply it was appropriate for boys OR girls to participate in those activities and sexual choices.
In other words; if a female can do ANYTHING she wishes to do as a female, and a man can do the same, where is the validity in the argument “I was born the wrong gender”?
It’s too subtle for the Trans brigade, who would simply and wrongly see @the old bat or Val McDermid climbing their respective trees as children and say, “Oh, look at that poor boy born into a girl’s body, better get that sorted out for them”
One of the most egregious things I’ve recently seen is also in this video. That’s the picture of this amorphous creature whose text says
I was born with the body of a boy but the brain of a girl.
Math is hard, let’s go shopping! anyone? If that’s not sexist, I don’t know what is. I’ve been socialised in the 1980s, ie, well before all these all men/ all women cliches were reintroduced (early 2000s in Germany) and shit like this makes my blood boil. By that time, we decidedly didn’t think it was chic to regard the often cited 50% of mankind as of the lower orders because of the sex difference and I refuse to start doing so just because this would be politically convenient for some people.
There’s a great episode of Little House on the Prairie, where the father, Charles Ingolls, wants to take Laura, his middle daughter, on a hunting expedition. His wife objects, saying it isn’t right for girls to do such things. Charles rejects her idea, stating that he’s sure she’ll grow into a wonderful woman. They go, and Laura saves the day when Charles injures himself, miles from anywhere, with his own gun.
Obviously, these episodes were aired before the Woke Brigade got their teeth into everything.
These watermelon-shaped beings are very strange. What planet to they live on?
This is also very scary
wwwDOTyoutubeDOTcom/watch?v=XA07ta2tJpQ
Neither politicians nor large employers are interested in people able to and courageous enough to engage in sceptical thinking.
The whole point of children’s education now is to turn them into semi-skilled obedient sheep who know their place and keep their mouths shut.
“The whole point of children’s education now is to turn them into semi-skilled obedient sheep who know their place and keep their mouths shut.”
Bang on the nail but the people pushing this are the Davos Deviants. The politicians are just under orders.
The DD’s want a wholly compliant and sheep-like populace because they require SLAVES not sentient, questioning human beings.
I fear some people have yet to perceive the depth of evil being planned – depopulation and enslavement for the survivors. Some run of the mill civil servants and politicians might be given a small sincere, a kapo type position while they have a use, but after that they will be off to the knackers yard.
Apologies – bloody predictive- – ‘sincere’ was of course sinecure.
Take ’em out and teach them at home.
Education is now massively politicised
Health the same.
Best avoid schools. And the NHS.
The problem is certainly one of trusting in authority/the state. In 2003, unlike many sensible British people, I swallowed the WMD nonsense just because I did not believe a government would tell such blatant lies – truth was finally turned on its head in with the Hutton report. Obviously Gilligan told the truth and Blair lied over Dr Kelly and Hutton used technical technical arguments to twist the results – the Chairman and Director General resigned and the BBC was captured, and by degrees most of the mainstream have been swallowed up since. I guess by now the lies are so all enveloping and pervasive that it is simply easier to give up. I suppose it is the first circle of the metaverse.
Hallelujah! What a brilliant sensible idea. Some here may well have seen the attached feature extracted from The Light newspaper issue 21 p23. The kids are the future of the human race, god help us all if free / critical thinking gets completely wiped out.
They taught us some complete twaddle at school – things that turned out to just not be true at all.
The biggest whopper I can think of was this notion that we “the people” are governed by consent and that we have inalienable rights (granted to us by “God”).
It turns out we don’t and that these “rights” are granted to us by the government who can take them away from us whenever they feel like it (“for the greater good”) – even for the most stupidest reasons (like because someone decided to rebrand the flu for example)
It also turns out that the government basically owns our kids because we were stupid enough to “register” them with the government.
I’m dreading my daughters going to school. I suppose I’ll have to try and teach them that many of the pointless things they are learning are “just pretend” and that they should “just write the answers the teacher wants regardless of if they are actually true or not”. I’d encourage them to not believe anything school tells them unless they can prove it themselves. BUT they must never let on to the school that they are doing this.