The Left-Wing Bias of World Mental Health Day is Enough to Drive You Insane

Alan Partridge is back on our screens, but he’s not very well. The much-loved Norwich-based media personality and broadcaster has endured many well-documented mental health crises down the years, from the day he shot a man live on-air, to the day he drove all the way to Dundee in his bare feet, and now, in a rare new BBC series actually worth watching, How Are You? It’s Alan (Partridge), which is billed as being “Britain’s first ever documentary about mental health”, he is dispensing his psychological well-being tips to the nation.

For example, should you ever be feeling suicidal, Alan has produced an online set of “Printable Affirmation Cards”, instructing users to cut them out (with blunt-tipped child safety-scissors) and keep them somewhere safe, in the event of an inevitable mental health emergency: “When you need a little lift, keep these affirmation cards nearby.” Keeping some Valium nearby might work better, but not for Alan. When bubbling memories of your bitter divorce, your children’s death in a freak air-crash, and your recent fatal brain-cancer diagnosis all get a bit too much to handle, simply staring at Alan’s hand-drawn Doodles of Immense Positivity will inevitably draw you back down from the windowsill. And how could they not, with profoundly uplifting and healing messages like these?

That last one sounds like one of those stickers dentists give you after a filling when you’re five. Exactly the kind of embarrassing nonsense you might