It has been such a long two years. I have been swimming against the tide for most of that time, searching for alternatives to the oppression I have felt and witnessed, raging and grieving over the damage done to so many lives, especially the young. I rage against being part of a huge worldwide experiment. I rage against the crazy rules, the propaganda, and most of all the masks.
We are now perhaps emerging blinking into a life without Covid rules and yet the masks and their wearers are still everywhere. The natural world is unchanged, but the human world is still dystopian. An invitation to a singing workshop involves a lateral flow test before you go, social distancing of one metre, and masks when not singing. Two friends required a lateral flow test before a visit.
I no longer support any political party, any campaign group, newspaper or magazine. The Left has left me. I am appalled by the role trade unions have played. My principles have not altered, but I have lost my place in the wider world.
My small world has changed too. Around me are my partner, my sister and her partner and four friends who have rejected some or all of the orthodoxy of Covid in our lives. And there is another close friend who doesn’t know what she thinks. These people have been warm support and good company.
The rest of my friends and family have been ‘conformist’ and one has rejected me altogether. These relationships have lost in trust and intimacy. My disappointment runs deep. Talking about what we have lived through seems very hard to do and nothing feels as it used to because I am so changed and we are all changed. I cannot see how we heal ourselves and relationships unless there is dialogue. There is an elephant in the room.
There are people out there that I feel in some way connected to: scientists like Carl Heneghan, the Great Barrington authors Sunetra Gupta, Jay Bhattacharya and Martin Kulldorff, psychologist Gary Sidley, writers and philosophers like Charles Eisenstein, Paul Kingsnorth and Lionel Shriver, A State of Fear author Laura Dodsworth, and many more. These are my imaginary friends who are out there questioning and campaigning. Their writing helps me at least feel not entirely mad. I can’t find a way at the moment to be part of anything I really believe in except for helping the Smile Free campaign from my computer.
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Brilliant. Thank you.
You won’t need imaginary friends because there are millions of like-minded people willing to support you.
Just tell all of the ‘sheeples’ to bugger off, wear a hazmat suit or self-isolate permanently. They are of no use to society anyway as their brains have obviously been sucked out of their skulls.
Be bold! Be strong! You don’t need these pathetic creatures in your life! When anyone challenges me for not wearing a mask I look them square in the eye and invite them to convince me I should, but it hasn’t happened yet. You will eventually find like minded folk and be all the better for it, but until then it’s better to see who the sheep are and leave them to their paranoia rather than try to convince them or fit in with them in some way. It’s been this way in our family for two years now- even this weekend at a ‘do’ there was the usual talk of Covid and how terrible people like us are. That’s my cue to go to the bar or leave, but by standing out I have found myself talking to the odd person that feels the same way and made a small number of new friends who can think for themselves. You can survive this but you have to accept that once you’ve seen these whining sheep for what they are you can never look at them the same again.
Real friends are also available. Join your local Stand in the Park group and you will fiind like-minded souls who can give hugs and encouragement. Nobody needs to fight this dystopia single-handed.
Yep it has certainly helped me through these dark times
https://www.astandinthepark.org/
My exact experience. I could have written this post, word for word.
I could have written this article myself …thank you to the author. Lockdown Sceptics along with a few friends and like minded people kept me sane. Here in Scotland it is much worse than England. Our diktat keeps good control of us …not me though 😉
Thank you for writing this it really reflects how I have been feeling but with only one friend who is in any way singing the same tune as me. I too feel totally let down by the left and now feel adrift politically but just find some solace in some of the brilliant people on the internet whilst avoiding falling down any rabbit holes into extreme conspiracy theories.
Don’t forget Toby I feel he is a friend and fellow QPR supporter although we have never met. With his work on here and the Free Speech Union I feel our country needs more like him.
My imaginary friends are the hosts of GBNEWS programmes such as Mark Dolan, Dan Wooton and Andrew Doyle.
Absolutely Liz!!! To me they are heroes!
I am with you Jill, and understand every word you say. I’m exhausted after two years of living with heightened tensions, anger, frustration, and complete bewilderment as to how many people have been taken in by the narrative. I can only guess that I didn’t go down the same rabbit hole because I don’t watch television or believe the MSM. I have listened to TalkRADIO who have at least tried to look at all sides of the story, so they have kept me saner than I would otherwise have been. I have kept to my smallholding and my animals and tried hard to stand apart from the nonsense and complete hysteria. But so very hard with once close friends who now appear to live on a different planet to me. Interestingly though, most of those are now coming around to the fact that we need normality back, that maybe they did indeed over-react, and some are very very angry about what has happened and the state of fear (thank you Laura Dodsworth!) that has been imposed upon them mentally. The aftermath of all this will echo for years to come. But I do need to find more likeminded friends, for… Read more »
I take solace from the fact that my two twenty-something children hold views that chime with mine. I’m 73 and outright refuse to take part in anything to do with the covid scam and the experimental gene therapy. ‘Er indoors is jabbed up “so I can travel,” says she, disregarding my question; “who with?”
In my time; as an ex-serviceman, I’ve had “an armful of everything going” to quote Tony Hancock. “Needles the size of drainpipes, some of ’em”.
I’m minded of a further quote on reading this excellent article: “Strange times Archie!” ‘Local Hero.’
I agree with every written. As I read, I kept thinking “that could be me writing that” My small group of friends and family have helped provide a cocoon of sanity against the dystopian nightmare, but it has been and still is horrifying to listen to friends I previously thought intelligent, enthusiastically performing these Covid rituals and insisting that we all must do the same to ”make them feel safe” or be labelled uncaring, arrogant and right-wing. Some how those who worship at the Covid altar feel they have the right to tell others what they can and can not do. It has to stop.
I have to say I feel exactly the same, lost like I’m on another world. I too have family that no longer speak to me.
On my part I go about life as I always have but the mask freaks spoil a lot of it.
Best thing for me though is I go down my local frequently (or the office as my wife calls it) and find myself among like minded folk doing the same. Really soul lifting.
Masks epitomise the soulessness stamped on society by the despotic ones. “Lifting the soul” is what will keep our heads above the waves of this ultra clinical ‘new normal’. There is plenty of ‘soul uplift’ to be found BTL.
Oh how I relate to this but even having 4 friends who thought like me would be wonderful. I have one and my sister and one daughter with whom I can really speak but I shouldn’t complain as those have really kept me sane. The trouble is that now I look at most people differently – especially those who so readily embraced the vaxx passports used widely in the country where I live. I really thought that people who are ordinarily kind and caring would reject such a system but, alas, no. Many welcomed and encouraged it. How can I ever view these people in the same way again – it will certainly take time and a complete shift on most people’s outlook – I hope it’s not too late.
a bit self pitying – join your local stand on the park – i did – there are millions of alone people – many living in Austria, Italy, Australia, NZ, Canada – ie under fascist regimes, many totally alone and many who have lost their jobs/ businesses/ families/ friends and reason for living. Without sounding like a Monty Python skit – you have a partner, friends! Luxury! Pure luxury!
Me too. I’m in Cape Town. I don’t know many dissenters here. My son is some support. My daughter in the UK attacked me when I tried to talk about my worries and utterly refuses to discuss anything beyond domestic trivia. This has caused a probably unhealable rift. Like you, I couldn’t have survived without the wonderful dissenters like Toby Young and Lionel Shriver. The Daily Sceptic (and previously Lockdown Sceptics) has been my daily consolation since the start of all this lunacy. I weep for the children who are forced to wear masks at school here, including my two grandchildren. I’ve written to the headmaster about this child abuse, but he won’t listen to reason. He says ‘The parents find it comforting.’
Have spent quite a bit of time in Constantia Diana so I know the terrain a bit out there – CT is beautiful!!!. I sympathise with you as I too have found family only prepared to discuss what you describe as domestic trivia and I get completely shut down by them when I try to explain to them what they are happy to participate in and what is being done to them, so I have had to give up. I too weep for kids forced to wear masks all day in school – good for you trying to stand up for them by writing to the HM about it – what a shame he brushed you off with such a lame reason.
The deepest damage, I think, may have been done by the assault on the minds of billions of people. They have been deceived, demoralized, humiliated, frightened, bullied, and cowed. Most of them may never completely recover, the lessons that were forced on them having become convictions. They trusted their authorities and they paid the price.
I’m sure you’re right. i met a woman in the woods the other day, both walking our dogs, and had a chat. She has asthma and had been absolutely petrified in March 2020 by continual messages from the gov/NHS telling her she was vulnerable, to stay at home, don’t see people, if she needed to go out, go and sit on her front doorstep. total propaganda and nonsense. After a while, in the summer, she decided it might be okay to go out with her dog into the woods and started to do so. She has direct access apparently into the Forest of Dean which has hardly been a virus hotspot and you don’t meet many people out in the woods anyway. But she stuck by all other ‘regulations’.
She now has just started to go out to the shops (after 2 years!) but wears a mask everywhere. She said she thought i was very brave to ignore any ‘rules’ that i could. I don’t see her ever going back to BC times, sadly.
I have just read the post by Jill Evens on imaginary friends. I am full of sadness writing this as I says absolutely everything I cant articulate on how I have been left feeling. I don’t know how to overcome the feelings of isolation and feeling like I am the only one in my family who can see something very bad has been done to us. Things are never going to be the same again. I just want my old self and my old life back.
Same here – give me my old life back and my old world, as imperfect and sometimes boring as it was. Boring normality – what a new-found virtue!
Oh, and get the government out of my life – on Covid and so much else (I’m quite the anti-statist libertarian, these days).
Give it time and they will start to see what has been done to the vast majority who rushed forward to accept the jabs, masks and the whole paraphernalia of this sorry episode in human history
The truckers have won, for the govn, Trudeau never negotiated with them and had to resort to brute force to move them and get them out…no negotiation, just brute force, so in effect, the government has lost fully; you have to look at the big picture here…
These vaccines have placed our police and military in a very harmful situation and I will write it knowing the implications as a global scientist heavily worked and knowledgeable in COVID; it is my opinion that many of our police and soldiers will have medium and long term consequences of the vaccines and up to death; many have died from these already and the vaccine makers, nor CDC or NIH have ensured the proper studies to rule out the harms and risks.
I fear for our police and military and they were mislead and lied to by the public health officials at Health Canada and PHAC, as well as the provincial public health people under Premier Doug Ford.
https://palexander.substack.com/p/i-cannot-say-more-today-i-had-to?utm_source=url
HRA Reform – Tips for responding
https://www.gov.uk/government/consultations/human-rights-act-reform-a-modern-bill-of-rights/human-rights-act-reform-a-modern-bill-of-rights-consultation
Some points you might like to consider, and paraphrase in your own response if you resonate with these:
1. The “Modern Bill of Rights” you propose MUST NOT contradict, contravene, or in any way reduce the rights of any human being already established in UK’s existing body of laws. If it does, it will be unconstitutional in whole or in part.
2. The most important human right is bodily integrity. That means NO bodily interference without fully informed consent, freely given. The right to bodily integrity, therefore, MUST be included as an UNQUALIFIED right in any “Modern Bill of Rights.”
3. Attempts to prevent frivolous or dubious human rights claims (for example, a sociopathic/psychopathic killer wishing to avoid extradition/deportation by claiming a right to family life, his family being his cat or dog) MUST be addressed only by the discretion and wisdom of the courts, on a case by case basis and NOT by prescriptive legislation, because the latter will inevitably lead to unintended consequences (for example, if society became conditioned in the future to believe that mass vaccination was more important than bodily integrity or informed consent, then a “permission stage” could… Read more »
It’s been a painful couple of years and sometimes its hard to imagine people will ever see the light. I live in Wales and when I to go the supermarket (masks are still mandated here) I just despair. I feel like I live in a parallel universe. I guess this is human nature and would be repeated should we have another pandemic. Acceptance and a calm silence helps me cope when I find it hard to swim upstream and share my views.
Likewise I feel alienated from most “friends and family” but take consolation in all the sceptics on this site and in the many alternative commentators that manage to escape the censors. One benefit is I’ve become much more interested in debating alternative views of the fundamental question: why are they doing this? Being different doesn’t have to be a lonely existence.
Totally agree. You are most definitely not alone. Singing has been the thing that I have grieved for the most. Last summer I was asked to join a prestigious local choir that sings with a professional orchestra. I said yes, but then received the rehearsal instructions; masks, lateral flow tests (with proof!) and ‘social distancing’. I declined, stating why and saying that I believed the testing requirements and associated record-keeping to be illegal under GDPR, and the mask requirement illegal without a risk assessment. I did not receive a reply and I have not yet sung with that choir; I probably never will. Thank goodness for our wonderful sceptical, pragmatic parish church Director of Music; he has my loyalty instead.
I too have lost friends; not just over this issue but the ‘gender’ nonsense; I refuse to pretend that mammals can change sex when, having worked in agriculture for 40 years, I know that they can’t. I can also see the danger to the women’s rights that I fought for in the 70s and 80s. Interestingly, the ‘friends’ that I have lost over these two issues have been the same people. I realised that they don’t possess the ability to… Read more »
I also sing – so I understand what you have lost.
And I have probably lost a friend of many years, after receiving a phone call explaining to me ever so politely why I was dangerous (as an unjabbed) to be seen – “for a time”. I was also polite, explaining that it was perhaps a good idea, as a lot of people who consider themselves “fully vaccinated” don’t realise that they can infect others. I advised that I though I might stay away from the “vaccinated” for a while, so that I wasn’t automatically blamed if the “vaccinated” became infected. It was hideous.
What have we gained? Better long-term health prospects – but, more importantly (for me), self-respect. I had no idea how deeply committed I was to studying actual evidence, rather than what I was told (by anyone); and no idea how much oppressive shit I could endure and not be broken.
At our regular demonstrations here in Oz, we smile at all the others. We are still here, and we still won’t comply.
Yes, here in my neck of old Oz (Adelaide), it is the maskless smiling, and occasional hugging, of complete strangers on the freedom protest marches, that makes me well up sometimes and give me strength to carry on.
And the Daily Sceptic, of course.
Also what i miss most. My singing was at a much lower level, just volunteering in a group which visited local care homes to sing with the residents and encourage them to join in, Obviously that stopped when the care homes were shut to everyone and the Xmas 2020 we went and sang carols outside in the gardens so at least we could wave at our friends inside. But then the jabs came and they assumed that all volunteers would get jabbed so ‘that was okay then’ and when i said i wasn’t, they asked me to do flow test just to sing in the flipping garden ‘to keep the other volunteers comfortable’. I just told them i wasn’t playing government’s games and stayed away. Which saddens me as some of the residents had become good friends. Maybe one day they’ll accept me back, who knows?
They’d be lucky to have you Maggie May – it is their loss [altho I know it is yours too for the time being]
I am not in your calibre but used to sing with Rock Choir. I loved it more than I ever could have thought possible. I sang in every performance I possibly could and never missed a rehearsal in 4 years.
Our leader left and started their own choir but I can’t go back. An email at the end of last month said that although the gov is removing restrictions, they’re carrying on with muzzles on arrival and departure and and LFT test. It does state that this isn’t mandatory and there wouldn’t be any checks. But I just can’t be around these people any more.
It’s completely ruined.
And I have grieved for it. Looking back on all those amazing times I just feel sadness.
I was just about to join Rock choir before all this madness began. I had to put it “on hold”. Based on your description it might never come off now. And I might have to stick to singing in my living room.
Well as I said our leader is not an RC leader now. I don’t know what the RC policies are, so it might be worth a go to see – and not all choirs may be full of the wokesters and bedwetters we have in our parts. We do seem to be in a very bad Covidian area. Also, our one had teachers in it – primary school – and they can be some of the worst Covidians of the lot! Honestly it was the best thing I ever did for myself – I loved it so much and am just terminally sad that it’s all ruined.
Hi downticker. Just to help you keep track, there have been nine posts since you had your tea. (Marmite soldiers?) The last one you downticked was ‘Pendolino’s. The next post was mine, so you can start there.
Could be shift changeover time in the 77th office?
I’m with you Jill – I had no idea I was such an outlier, just assumed everyone would value freedom and have a commonsense ability to assess and balance risks. I had no idea I was surrounded by people who would trust pharmaceutical companies (hysterical laughter) and politicians (you’ve got to be kidding me) to have their best interests at heart. I guess what it revealed to me is that at heart most people are really really afraid of dying and scaring them witless is a highly effective way of getting their compliance. If more people could come to terms in whatever way they can (religion, spirituality, existential therapy or just plain old everyone dies, get over it) then we’d all be a lot more robust.
I think you have hit on a central truth there. People cannot accept that one day they, and everyone they know, will cease to be. I’m sure that they were convinced that the government could “save” them and make them immortal, if they just did as they were told.
Death is part of life, we come into the stream of life and leave it again. But most people don’t want to talk or think about it….not even acknowledge it, so they are easy prey for the relentless fear p0rn propaganda.
Hey, I’ve joined the Phantom Downticker Gang!
Obviously someone who cannot contemplate their own mortality.
The evening shift has started at the 77th!
What’s so odd is that prior to early 2020 a lot of people regarded pharmaeutical companies with varying levels of suspicion. Suddenly all that went away and they became sainted saviours!
Carlos Castaneda writes about Living with Death at your Shoulder as, only when you accept the fact that you are going to die, can you truly live.
We also need to accept that the only people we can change are ourselves and merely by behaving confidently in relation to the virus – I have never worn a mask, taken a test or a jab – can we demonstrate to the fearful that there is nothing to fear except fear itself. I don’t take Big Pharma products and have shunned them for the past 50 years – a fact that seems to astound the medical profession – and, as a result, at 72, I have a strong immune system that shrugged off the virus in January 2020. I have found myself swimming against the tide all of my life and had to question everything from early childhood as my mother had undiagnosed mental health issues so I’ve had a lot of practice at this. Thank God for the lifeline of Toby Young and DS. All any of us can do is be an example to the Covidians who have been terrified by propaganda into accepting the ‘rules.’ I also realised that… Read more »
Visited the opticians at a well known High Street chemist this afternoon, only to be met by 5 or 6 faces masked up. The lead face nappy asked if I was exempt. Yes, indeed! One wonders how these cretins aren’t fussed about shoppers in the rest of the store NOT wearing face nappies. I felt uncomfortable being surrounded by them!
If they carry on like that, they will lose trade. I won’t deal with them for the time being; limited confidence in their competence for that reason.
IF. By Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
… Read more »
I remember the opening lines of a version of ‘If’ on ‘Weekending’ in the Eighties, in the voice of Michael Heseltine ‘If you can keep your head while all around you want it served up on a plate..’ Might be appropriate for the PM.
Lockdown is, at root, an assault on the mind.
Even my imaginary friends don’t talk to me.
The world can get crazy sometimes, but whether or not you let it get to you is, in my opinion, a personal choice.
If you want to retain your sanity, I reckon it helps to be like water. If there’s a brick in front, it just flows around it; it doesn’t try to go over it.
I went to Sainsbury’s the other day. A sign at the entrance said ‘Please wear a mask if you can’. I couldn’t, because I didn’t have one with me so I continued. And when I got inside, lots of others had taken a similar approach.
The alternative was to get all hot under the collar about companies requiring masks to be worn when the data and evidence don’t support it.
It’s just not worth beating yourself up over all the madness in the world.
The Vertas DataCentre in Enfield is worse now than ever, ‘exempt’ = face shield, barking security guards, they basically follow you around wiping the hand rails down as you pass through… Although you can sit happily in the canteen and drink a coffee in peace (barring the 15 min wipe downs), small mercies I guess.
Absolutely. I’ve learnt now to be patient and simply not engage with any of it. I went to get my ear syringed the other day at a private clinic, and on entering reception I was asked “could you just pop your mask on whilst you are here?” in a very nice tone by the receptionist. To which I beamed brightly and said “I don’t have one.” “Oh . . . would you like one of ours from this box?”. Box of useless paper masks offered to me. “No thank you.”. Bright beam from me. Subject was dropped and I got my ear seen to! Honestly, it’s best to stay calm, not get angry, and just be friendly and smiling.
You’re right. Last month I went to a private clinic for some blood sample tests, and neither the clinician or myself wore any such thing, and nothing was said about it. Quite reassuring at the time. At my local dentists, the reception staff seemed to have stopped using them as well, as did all the other patients in the waiting room, a couple of weeks ago.