A Story for Burnham

The Rest is Politics insists that the one thing Andy Burnham needs, if and when he becomes Prime Minister, is a story or strategy.

Here is Alastair Campbell:

If it is Andy Burnham, his strategy in a way almost writes itself. If you think about what he’s been saying, he’s been saying that our politics is broken, that it’s not working for working people in places like the north of England. And what he’s shown in Manchester relates to this sense of devolution of power. So I think… if I were advising him that’s where I’m starting in terms of devising an overall strategy. It’s about unleashing the potential and talent of people all over this country. And it should mean quite a shake-up in the way Whitehall operates, the way Westminster operates.

That sounds as if Campbell wants Burnham to become a Conservative. This is 90% what Jacob Rees-Mogg would like to hear.

(Unless Campbell means ‘unworking people’ when he says “working people”. And unless Campbell means ‘more spending’ when he says ‘devolution of power’. Which is very likely, given what we know about the old hypocrite.)

But, make no mistake, one can have a story, but then one has the things one does.

Here is my breakdown of Campbell’s advice.

Point 1. Labour has spent too much.

Point 2. Devolution of power = spending less and taxing less. (If it means spending more then it is not devolution. It is increasing centralisation.)

Point 3. Unleashing potential = reversing Starmer’s increased regulation and increased spending.

And yet we are told that Burnham is to the Left of Starmer. Ho hum.

So here is my suggestion about what Burnham’s story should be.

The only hope is that Burnham turns out to be a colourful chameleon who can talk the Corbyn talk (‘politics is broken’,’ ‘for the many not the few’) while reverting to Blair-in-1997 fiscal discipline. Which translates, given the current state of spending: austerity squared.

He can talk Labour nonsense but he must do Conservative things.

Otherwise he is just going to expose the Labour party for the post-McFadden dim-witted spend-irresponsibly thing that it largely appears to be.

My advice to Burnham.

Make George Osborne Chancellor.

Make Dominic Cummings the Head of DOGE.

Keep Shabana Mahmood in place.

Make Peter Mandelson Foreign Secretary, i.e., mock the entire stupid hang-the-hypocrites hypocrisy of the press.

Persuade Richard Ekins, Professor of Law at Oxford, to be Attorney General, and get out of all the old European human rights and conventions and rules.

Appoint Tony Blair Count of the Saxon Shore, to do “whatever it takes” to stop the boats.

Make everyone read Jon Moynihan’s books.

Destroy the triple lock.

Strangle the NHS.

Go on TV every month and make a presentation to the public about Debt and Deficit. Or YouTube, if the BBC insists on spurious ‘balance’.

Reappoint John Healey Minister of Defence.

Make a statement about how COVID-19 and Net Zero were colossal mistakes.

Oh, and a new idea: remove the vote from anyone who has entered the country, legally or not, since 2016. Call them ‘metics’ and grant them the vote, say, after 25 years, by which time they might have a vested interest in the country.

The only hope is that a Labour leader can do the steely, harsh things that the United Kingdom needs a leader to do. Aye, we don’t want, or, rather, you, Campbell, Osborne and friends, don’t want, a British AfD in power. No Reform or Restore for you: well, if so, then we need a leader of a mainstream party who has the jaw, backbone and guts to put through the blunt and brutal Starkey reforms necessary to turn the ship of state round.

If none of this happens, then the “story” will be that Burnham simply compounded the old Starmer errors, and made even the Tories of c. 2020 look good.

By the way, I am sick of this talk of ‘politics is broken’. This is rubbish squared. Politics is fine. It is responsible government that is not yet mended. Brexit was, I take it, the attempt to restore power to government, so we would stop blaming Europe for our failures. One cannot restore a political class in a decade, it seems. Well, let’s keep working at it.

That, then, is a possible story for Burnham: Burnham needs to adopt, on the face of it, a soft Left politics, and, below the surface, what Campbell calls a “hard Right” politics. That is what is needed.

Because I don’t think the British will accept a hard Right politics unless it is carried out by a soft Leftist.

James Alexander is a Professor in the Department of Political Science at Bilkent University in Turkey.