- “NHS waiting list spikes to another record high of 6.4 million” – NHS data show one in nine people were in the queue for elective operations such as hip and knee replacements and cataracts surgery by March, the Mail reports.
- “Rishi Sunak’s tax raids trigger recession warning” – The economy shrank in March even before taxes were due to climb as experts warn of “real squeeze”, the Telegraph reports.
- “The truth about Britain’s Covid deaths” – Matthew Parris in the Spectator notes how little relationship there is between pandemic deaths and restrictions and how small the death tolls were in the scheme of things.
- “From snowball fights to delivering birthday cards: Britain’s 136,000 lockdown penalty charges” – Time for an amnesty, says Michael Simmons in the Spectator.
- “Forget back to the office, now civil servants want the right to work from abroad” – Jacob Rees-Mogg says “extreme” demand from “lazy” union leaders has “given the game away”, the Telegraph reports.
- “Is Klaus Schwab the greatest threat of our time?” –”Just another typical smooth-talking, smarmy Davos Man,” says Taki in the Speccie, but one with some dangerous ideas.
- “Tesco to open offices in its supermarkets” – The grocer seeks to cash in on the rise of homeworking, according to the Telegraph.
- “‘Lockdown winners’ are the ‘reopening losers’” – The troubles of Peloton and Netflix show we crave the ‘old normal’ life, says Ben Marlow in the Telegraph.
- “Six graphs that show how the NHS is collapsing” – Pressure is mounting across the health service and the latest NHS England monthly statistical release is a window onto a service that seems to be continuously ‘at breaking point’, writes Michael Simmons in the Spectator.
- “‘Bungs’ to Billionaires: Cummings Exposes Johnson’s Cash for Content Scandal” – New testimony from the Prime Minister’s former chief aide shows how the free press has been bought by the Government, according to Adam Bienkov, Sam Bright and Brian Cathcart in the Byline Times.
- “Argonaut 1970s Redux Stockumentary” – Watch: Argonaut asks what were the 1970s really like for investors and what lessons can we learn for investing today?
- “U.S. gun murders reached 25 year high in 2020” – Guns were used in more than three quarters of murders in the U.S. in 2020, the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic and the year of the BLM riots, up nearly 35% on 2019 and a 25 year high, Janice Hopkins Tanne writes in the BMJ.
- “Covid Scotland: MSPs urged to block new bill including controversial ‘Henry VIII’ powers” – The Scottish Liberal Democrats have urged other MSPs to oppose the Scottish Government’s ‘power grab’ COVID-19 Recovery Bill, the Scotsman reports.
- “China Declares War on W.H.O., ‘Irresponsible’ Tedros for Opposing Lockdowns” – China condemned WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus as uninformed and “irresponsible”, reports Breitbart News.
- “Pilots Injured by Covid Vaccines Speak Out: ‘I Will Probably Never Fly Again’” – In interviews with Michael Nevradakis for the Defender, pilots injured by COVID-19 vaccines said despite a “culture of fear and intimidation” they are compelled to speak out against vaccine mandates that rob pilots of their careers and in some cases their lives.
- “World’s leading scientists deplatformed by bigoted councillors” – Kathy Gyngell on TCW Defending Freedom reports that the venue for the forthcoming Better Way health conference pulled out at the last minute out of ‘concerns for its reputation’, but a replacement venue has been found.
- “How The Federal Government Used Evangelical Leaders To Spread Covid Propaganda To Churches” – Megan Basham in the Daily Wire tells how Francis Collins enlisted leading Evangelicals to promote the Government line on restrictions and vaccines.
- “What the new GCSE in global warming should teach” – Bjorn Lomborg in the Spectator makes some suggestions for what should be in the new course, such as that according to the UN the entire global cost of climate change will be equivalent to less than a 4% hit to GDP by the end of the century.
- “Rishi Sunak’s net zero U-turn” – Just six months ago at the Glasgow climate conference, Chancellor Rishi Sunak was pledging to rewire the entire global financial system for Net Zero, including making London the world’s first ‘Net Zero Aligned Financial Centre’, but he has changed his tune of late, writes Rupert Darwall in the Spectator.
- “Germany gas supply drops as Ukraine shuts off pipes from Russia” – Olaf Scholz is forced to import extra fuel from Norway and Netherlands, the Telegraph reports.
- “If the oil ban hurts Vlad, why would he turn off the gas?” – Is it Putin we’re harming or ourselves, asks Ciarán McCollum on Scaled.
- “British troops ‘ready to go and fight’ against Russia, says head of commando unit” – Brigadier Nick Cowley, Commander of 16 Air Assault Brigade Combat Team, admitted there is a “very present” threat of the conflict spreading, according to the Telegraph.
- “Russia declares Sweden and Finland ‘targets’ if they join NATO” – Speaking to UnHerd’s Freddie Sayers, First Deputy Representative of Russia to the UN Dmitry Polyanskiy has said that Sweden and Finland joining the bloc would turn them overnight from neutral into enemy countries and become a “target” for Russia.
- “The culture wars have crept into Oxbridge admissions” – Meritocracy is on life support in the dreaming spires, says David Abulafia in the Speccie.
- “Ultra-woke nursery rhyme book asks parents to ditch traditional ballad” – Animal rights group PETA said the original songs like Baa Baa Black Sheep encourage unfair attitudes towards animals and have been given a “makeover to replace racist, sexist, and insensitive language”, the Mail reports.
- “Calling men bald is sex harassment, judge rules” – A panel of judges bemoaning their own hair loss find in favour of a worker after remarks were made over his physical appearance, reports the Telegraph.
- “Online watchdog says it ‘prizes freedom of expression’ ahead of Musk’s Twitter takeover” – Ofcom chief says the company will focus on illegal content when regulating social media giants, the Telegraph reports. Well, that’s okay then…
- “What’s the truth about Facebook and Twitter’s algorithm riddle?” – Algorithms dictate what we do and don’t see online; on Twitter and Facebook, they determine what posts do well and which ones get buried. Yet how they actually work is shrouded in secrecy, says Laura Dodsworth in the Spectator.
- “I don’t trust the Government to decide what political views are worthy of protection online” – Toby explains his concerns with the Online Safety Bill on the Triggernometry podcast.
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First Comment!
Nicely done guys!
And about time too! What took you so long?
APRIL FOOLS!
I was just remarking to my wife this morning that the humourless woke brigade have shut down April Fools Day.
Thank you DS!
Interesting the thumbs down for celebrating an April Fools Day joke.
Yes I noticed that too, he/she/they/them must have wandered onto the wrong site by mistake! Bless, ……”it’s tik tok you want my love”
Might I suggest looking up the “lockpicking lawyer” on youtube. His usual fare is exposing the flaws in commercial locks by picking them open in moments, but his April Fool videos are legendary, and based mostly on in depth innuendo. Based in the US, this years will be posted this afternoon.
Very disappointing that Section 2 of the application form only allows for Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, or Doctor. As a person proud of my fluid gender, pronouns, and intellect, I find it personally offensive that the form only allows me to select one pronoun at a time and fails to list any of the 1042.3 neo-pronouns that are in common usage in the offenderati community. I will however overlook this if you can give me a guarantee that should I be successful in this very senior and frankly obviously critical role you will provide me with a supply of full PPE including gloves and hazmat suits and that any staff members of the Daily Sceptic with whom I am required to interact will be wearing 3 masks (minimum) and will disinfect their keyboards immediately prior to any online calls and meetings at which I am present.
I identify as a fish. Some nasty people think this is odd.
And fishy?
// “Lockdowns were a disaster.”
“There is no climate emergency.”
“Men cannot have babies.”
If you can spot the problems with the above sentences, then you may be just the person we are looking for. //
I immediately spotted a host of problems with all three of these statements, but I am far too sensitive to point them out.
Love it!!!!
I have almost zero sensitivity, but my skill is to be able to diagnose a range of psychological afflictions purely by my sense of smell.
I am the only(*) practitioner in the UK who is able to detect Up-Yourself-Itus from fifty paces.
I really hope you find all the Little People and Fatties you require. However fyi, in my view Skinnies will require far fewer biscuits and their fingers are much slimmer, so much cheaper and way better for typing out weak April-fools gags.
Not too shabby though
* A spurious footnote, completely unrelated to the topic but obliquely referencing an opinion once published by someone who works for a big company who therefore sounds really convincing, despite their weak credentials
I’m happy to self declare that I meet all the criteria, and should therefore get the job. Otherwise you will be sued for self-self-discrimination.
To work at the Daily Sceptic – even though all employees work from home – you must be fully vaccinated against COVID-19
That twigged it for me – clear April Fool’s wind up. I thought all DS employees were based in Toby’s West London garden shed and had to attend every QPR home match.
To tell the truth though, I posted April Fool’s in the comments here the last couple of years, but completely forgot about it this year. Maybe adversity brings out humour.
I got it as soon as I saw the headline!
If it was April 1st, 2020 however, there was stuff going on that appeared like April Fool’s pranks, but were in fact genuine!
Oh dear, it took you that long!?
April Fool! Nah, actually saw it at the start.
Nice try from the DS Team, but April Fool pieces do have to be just a little bit plausible.
Btw, QPR lost at Wigan today. Bottom-of-the table Wigan. On a bad run of form and getting a bit uncomfortable for them. But I expect Toby knows that …
I’m personally recommending this lady for the job. I think she ticks all the boxes;
https://twitter.com/TheEyes2022/status/1609561930791878657
I have a friend who is violent, bigoted, everything-phobic and white, but he identifies as woke. Can he apply?
Please let us know how many applicants there were…
I’ve just stubbed my big toe and I can confirm that I’m VERY sensitive.
Gie’us a job please. I can do that.
Oh, I’ve just realised I don’t tick any of the diversity and inclusion boxes…..you’ve left out freckled gingers. I’m SO sensitive I’m now going to hide under the duvet all day.
You’re SO anti-Gingers! I withdraw my application.
Harry?
Welcome to titanosaur world. Offer expires at midday.
Hilarious. ————But only because it is based what is really going on in Wokeland.
Well there’s an April fools foth thee sir!
Thal light nor fire in yonder grate coss chimleys all blocked up!
There’s a world crisis emergency death spiral happening! It’s actually happening Reg! …I’m off to slash up!
April fool!
…and I mistakenly thought the previous article on “The NHS is in Crisis – So Why is it Hiring Diversity Managers on £55,000 a Year?“ was the April 1st joke
Come on guys, April Fool’s jokes generally have some sort of believability about them! There is no way in the whole universe that the DS would consider anything other than employing an ‘Insensitivity Reader’
Excellent and very funny. A small gripe. For essential requirements you say this.
City and Guilds Grade 5 or above in Sensitivity Reading
A bit late but it would have been better to use Open University, as that is an academic institute while City and Guilds is for vocational and practical learning. Sensitivity Reading is not a practical subject! All our problems have come from elevating academic thinking so that it is generally perceived to be superior to vocational and practical thinking, and that perception has been driven by the academics. I could imagine Open University, or any University having a degree course in this and there wouldn’t be low grades as that would be non-inclusive.
My Ph.D in Sensitivity Studies and my Nobel Prize for Wokeness make me the ideal candidate. Which makes me much too sensitive for actual work, so I must regretfully decline your generous offer. But have a Happy April Fool’s Day!
You must be the new Hyper-Sensitivity Reader? A vegan equivalent because getting to the meat of a subject is cruel, causes the Climate Emergency, causes AnnaPhilArctic shocks and it’s cultural appropriation because all knowledge has been stolen from Indigenous Women.
Brilliant! Done just in time, at 12:00am as well!
Dam. I was going to apply. Then I woke up.
Happy and fun April Fools day everyone!
Is it true that Nicola Sturgeon has applied?
There is indeed a “Climate Emergency” —-I opened the back door this morning and the climate blew right in and scared the dog half to death. I used to think climate change was a load of old cobblers but now I know “it is real and happening now”. Why else would my dog run all the way upstairs? I would like to see some dog data to confirm my hypothesis.
I was starting to worry until I realised the date. I may have had to apply as the necessary fatty to even out the staff levels, until I realised I might not be the only one and may have balanced the scales too heavily on our side.