We’ve been sent a semi-autobiographical, satirical short story by one of our Scottish readers who, for understandable reasons, wishes to remain anonymous. We hope you enjoy it.
It was the night before Hogmanay 2021 and all through the silent Edinburgh streets bored tourists walked past closed pubs, shuttered nightclubs and barely-filled restaurants. Lured by promoters’ tales of “legendary” Scottish hospitality in the alcohol-fuelled, self-styled capital of the New Year party world, they had risked quarantine at an airport hotel with a daily diet of Tunnocks tea cakes in the hope that the spontaneous Princes St kiss with a hairy highland stranger as the bells struck midnight might not turn out to be a snog with another South East Asian tourist under a wee Jimmy wig. Too late, these disappointed visitors, who in a parallel world might have contributed to the needy coffers of the Caledonian economy in fair exchange for “a guid time”, had come to realise that the entire country was under the iron, liberty crushing, control of one woman, Scotland’s very own Old Nic.
Meanwhile, in Edinburgh’s Stockbridge, favoured residential suburb of precious professionals seeking proximity to the cathedral of lockdown virtue-signalling, Waitrose, the McAllister family returned home from the last of the annual Christmas visits to Ma McAllister’s relatives which Pa McAllister and daughter, Dotty, had for once been unable to avoid as their conveniently essential prior engagements had been cancelled by Old Nic. “Please tell me I don’t need to see any more of these people for another year,” came the cry as they stumbled through their own front door adorned with its tasteful, homemade holly wreath. “That’s definitely it,” Ma assured them, yet at the back of her mind was the niggling doubt that someone had been missed, somebody, or indeed several somebodies, who had come to play such a central part in their lives that it would be shocking if, as the year drew to a close, Ma did not let them know how much, for good or ill, they meant to the McAllisters.
It was then that Ma noticed Pa slipping off up the stairs into the bedroom with that dreamy smile on his face, softly closing the door behind him. Of course, how could she have forgotten…
It had all started about 21 months ago. Alarmist news flashes were warning of an apocalyptic illness sweeping the globe, as journalists salivated that the rerun of the Spanish flu story they had been preparing for (some might say longing for) every time an exotic bird sneezed, could finally keep them all gainfully employed. In Pa’s study it was business as usual. “How do I save a document again?” he was asking for the 156th time. “Click on File, then on Save,” replied Ma without drawing breath as she continued the daily rebalancing of the McAllister’s global equity portfolio whilst making two rounds of french toast. There was silence from Pa. Then: “It says on my phone that Boris is closing the country for three weeks, no one is to move, shops and schools will shut, but you’re allowed out for an hour to exercise or get essential food.” “Don’t be ridiculous,” said Ma, as she recalibrated the chain saw whilst mentally debating the risks and benefits of a small cryptocurrency position. “Only a mad man would do that, and anyway, we don’t live in North Korea.” But for once, Ma was wrong.
Three weeks, and as it turned out, six months later, ostensibly not much had changed in the McAllister household. Pa still dressed immaculately in suit and tie and left for work every morning, although now he was the only one at the office. Unsurprisingly to Pa and Ma, he gained many new customers during this period, as actually undertaking a job one is contracted to do usually goes down well with those who pay for it. Ma carried on doing the many, many things Ma had always done, but on top of this did all the work of Pa’s support staff, who had bizarrely gone to a resort called Furlough, all kindly paid for by Pa, Ma and their ilk. Yet all was not well. Young Robbie, the McAllister‘s son, pined for company his own age (18) while being told he was selfish for not welcoming what was to become 21 months in solitary broken by only four days (c’est vrai) of in-person teaching. Back at St Andrews, Dotty meanwhile worried about the scapegoating of students such as herself as they returned to university where contemporaries were locked up, fenced in, fined for fraternising, sent down for socialising and paid to report on each other in best East German style. Pa was anxious that lockdown might not be over before the end of the shooting season while Ma, who had initially been nervous about the medium and long term effects on the economy, productivity and education now realised that these concerns were dwarfed by the immense psychological damage being wrought on both young and old as a result of Old Nic’s and other leaders’ repressive policies and relentless propaganda. Indeed, the McAllisters noticed that Ma was even grumpier than before, particularly if interrupted whilst considering the Letters section of The Daily Telegraph (Scotland edition) whilst consuming breakfast. “It seems, Pa,” she said one day, “that quite a lot of people are worryingly in favour of lockdowns. That’s not good, not good at all. Don’t they know that liberties, once surrendered, are hard to reclaim? Don’t they understand that in two world wars brave people died to give future generations freedom, not so that freedoms could be removed to pretend that ill people needn’t die and in a failed attempt to preserve a structurally ill-conceived healthcare model? What do they think happens to a society that prioritises the very elderly and infirm but throws its young people under a bus? Don’t they realise that every freedom we have in this supposedly liberal democracy that our friends, neighbours and fellow Scots claim to love had to be fought for over centuries and involved sacrifices by many good men and women? Weren’t they taught their history at school?” Ma and Pa looked at each other. “Of course not”, said Pa. “This is Scotland.”
Pa looked glum. Again. With the unprecedented attacks on civil liberties continuing with no obvious end in sight Ma was beginning to worry about Pa.
“Anyway, while I’ve got your attention,” said Pa, “remind me again, how do I save a document?” Although, as she put it, Ma had neither applied nor was qualified for the position, Pa had appointed her in-house ICT support during the first lockdown.
“Click File, then click Save,” Ma replied, as she put the finishing touches to her satirical epic poem highlighting the inherent inconsistencies and contradictions in the objectives of the so called ‘green’ movement, whilst also worming the cat. After some 20 minute’s silence during which no technical query had been forthcoming from Pa’s study, Ma looked up from completing the assignment for her 18th Century Russian Literature (now online) ‘class’ wondering what was amiss.
“Exactly!” she heard Pa exclaim. “Of course, that’s so true!” he enthused. “I knew it,” accompanied the sound of the table being thumped. “Ma, Ma, come and see this! There are people who think like us!”
Pa showed Ma what he had found. By accident he had stumbled upon a webpage of Lockdown Sceptic. For both Pa and Ma it was a revelation. There were references to actual statistics not just modelled projections. Articles by others who loved liberty and understood how much has been taken from us. Humorous accounts and moving testimonies. Journalists actually trying to hold governments to account. Reasoned pieces pointing out the immense damage of lockdowns. Articles from a wide range of contributors with both humanity and common sense. A link to Ivor’s dreamy Irish accent. Confirmation indeed that the McAllisters were not alone.
Ma thought for a minute. “Remember your precis, Pa. Never use seven words if five will do. It’s not: ‘There are people who think like us.’ It’s: ‘There are people who think’”
“This Toby chap’s brilliant,” said Pa. “And brave,” said Ma. “I think I’ll donate to the webpage,“ said Pa. Ma hesitated… but only for a moment. “Go on,” she said. “I will too.”
Over the next few weeks Pa’s devotion to Toby and his website grew. Now, every morning, often before she was awake, Ma’s phone would ping with the latest article that Pa had forwarded from Lockdown Sceptic. Although Ma repeatedly told him that she had the website on her iPad on an open tab and read it most mornings, Pa couldn’t contain his enthusiasm to share the latest common sense from Toby and friends. Yet more was to come.
One autumn day in 2020, avoiding the county border road blocks manned by Old Nic’s henchmen, Dotty sneaked home from university, keen to further her understanding of Ma’s recent masterclass on debt and cash flow management with some real life examples. She took Ma to one side, looking concerned. “Pa’s been shut in the bedroom for some time. I can hear other voices. Brace yourself Ma, I think he might have a man in there.” Ma smiled. “Don’t worry, that’s just London Calling, Pa’s weekly treat where Toby and his pal James, both like Pa in their mid-50s prime, chat through recent events and comment using that particular strain of common sense found in many of us who were at university in the 1980s. Pa’s found his tribe again. Sometimes I even think he wants to be Toby or James! It’s a bit worrying, I admit, when you hear them say that Scotland is finished (there are in fact still quite a few of us who are sound up here). But you can’t deny, Pa’s so much happier.”
The months went by, yet under Old Nic’s icy grip, little changed in Scotland. “I’m just being cautious,” she would repeat, relying on the “it’s for your own good” justification favoured by coercive abusers everywhere.
“Well I ever get out of the dining room?” wailed Robbie as a second ruined Christmas loomed. “I hope so,” soothed Ma. “It can’t go on. What we need to do is keep spreading common sense. Like Toby and his friends do every day. Keep telling your friends. Keep sharing the figures. Keep forwarding links to the Daily Sceptic website. Keep posting the satire. Remember that humans are mortal and many have always died every day just as many are born every day. Remember that whilst sad for the families concerned, the frail and elderly succumb to nasty winter respiratory viruses every year and will always do so. Remember that the wisest minds of the hunter gatherer tribe all agreed that the earth was flat. Remember that the finest scientific minds at the Court all agreed that the Emperor was warmly and elegantly dressed. Remember that whatever silly rules Old Nic comes up with, whether it’s wandering around the streets with a dirty handkerchief across your mouth or declaring that viruses can’t be transmitted on certain days or at certain times, the Covid virus isn’t actually paying any attention to her. Trying to control a virus with these authoritarian measures is almost as silly as man believing he can control, say, the weather. Point out the illogicality of vaxx-shaming to those who campaign against fat-shaming. Just keep spreading the message and have faith that in the end, common sense will prevail.”
Ma recalled this conversation as she realised what a debt was owed to Toby and his friends. Their bravery, commitment and indeed sheer hard work had inspired and encouraged many, many people throughout the land and brought hope during some of U.K. Liberty’s darkest days.
As she looked at her lengthy list of things to do before 2021 reached it’s end, Ma realised there was one more important task to complete before nightfall. Could she fit it all in? Yes. Dotty and Robbie would happily make her New Year’s Eve visits to the chronically lonely elderly neighbours who had suffered so much during lockdown. The preparation of their Old Year’s Night Carnivore’s Feast could be left in Pa’s capable hands. Ma resolved that without delay she would pen a brief note of thanks to Toby and through him to Luke, James, cartoonist Bob and the many others who have appeared in the Daily Sceptic for all they have done and hopefully will continue to do in the year ahead…
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OK
But Liz we need offshore wind farms like we need a hole in the head.
Speaking of which, I don’t know if they’re already doing something like this in the UK. I’m also wondering why they don’t do this on land instead, given that the bodies of the poor birds can at least be counted, and what arbitrary number of killed birds will they declare ‘acceptable’?
”Energy firm Vattenfall is going to place infrared cameras on one of its wind turbines in the North Sea to gauge how many birds are killed by the blades.
At the moment the decision to stop or slow turbines lies with the economic affairs ministry. It uses models which predict deaths at busy times of year, such as spring and autumn when millions of birds cross the North Sea on their migratory routes.
In 2023, North Sea turbines were halted three times to protect birds and some 50,000 are killed each year, experts have estimated.
The predictions do not give an accurate picture, Vattenfall said, because the dead birds fall into the sea and disappear in the current.
Some 16 infrared cameras will be placed on the turbine, which is part of an offshore wind farm some 18 kilometres from the coast near The Hague.”
https://www.dutchnews.nl/2024/04/vattenfall-to-put-cameras-on-wind-turbine-to-count-dead-birds/
Was that sliver of fantasy included to let it pass the Telegraph censors?
Truss may not be much good at politics but she is usually right on the substance of policy. Net Zero is economic lunacy. Most members of her rotten party are in thrall to authoritarian collectivism, however, and after fourteen disastrous years in government they deserve to be wiped out in the forthcoming election. Things need to get even worse before they get better.
And erecting a giant hamster wheel to power the UK will make it nirvana. If you didn’t realise it truss is a fool, the ppl in politics are very low quality, even the few who say the odd sensible thing.
If you reject sound advice, just because the source isn’t consistently reliable, we won’t get anything worthwhile from the political bubble, or the Legacy Media: though I usually can’t tell the difference between the two.
And if you reject newcomers, just because they haven’t done anything yet that is worthy of approval, because they haven’t been in office, we will be doomed to failure, and national destruction.
Don’t let Perfection be the enemy of Good.
I’ve posted about this before: the ridiculous lowering of the national speed limit here in the Netherlands, which came into force 4 years back. The speed limit that any normal, sane person ignores, especially if you regularly travel over the border to neighbouring Belgium or Germany, who don’t have such a nonsensical rule. Well lo and behold research has shown that it’s made bugger all meaningful difference. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that the alleged pitiful 0.2% reduction in nitrogen could be explained by the significant increase in electric cars in the last few years, because they’re everywhere over here now;
”The PVV, VVD, NSC, and BBB are discussing whether the speed limits on Dutch highways can be increased back to 130 kilometers per hour, sources told the newspaper AD on Tuesday. The topic has been on the agenda for a few weeks, but the leak to the media now may be an attempt to distract from a looming impasse on the asylum and migration file, political reporters think.
Four years ago, the Rutte III Cabinet lowered the maximum speed limit on highways to 100 kilometers per hour between 6:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. in an attempt to lower nitrogen emissions. But a recent study by Wim de Vries, a professor and nitrogen expert at Wageningen University, showed that the lower speed limit only reduced nitrogen emissions by at most 0.2 percent on paper.”
https://nltimes.nl/2024/04/16/parties-formation-talks-investigating-return-130-kmh-speed-limit
Net Zero is meant to replace existing infrastructure that works, with new infrastructure that is less efficient and using money that will be taken from the economy in taxes, and thus will reduce wealth creating economic activity.
To get less output for greater input, is the inverse of efficiency and economic growth.
While Truss might have been one of the least treacherous and incompetent of Johnson replacements ( others such as Braverman or Badenoch might have been better) , here I have to agree with her to some extent. Technically she is wrong on more offshore wind energy unless her recommendation for more Nuclear and shale gas derived generation is acted on. And even then, the regulatory process for the former seems designed to block implementation for around 2 decades. We have far in excess of the % wind renewable power for a stable grid. Tidal power would be a more revelant source for an island nation.
We are paying on average 2 1/4 times US electricty prices and 3 1/2 times S Korean prices ( Domestic and business average ). Yet the latter has limited and depleted gas field resources and imports most of its energy as Liquid Natural Gas. Which is carried at -159 degC, Liz not -180. Ludicrously we refuse to use our own onshore resources and there are those that believe USA sabotaged the Nordstream pipeline in order to provide a captive export market once most of the Gulf coast LNG import terminals had been converted to re-liquefy and export its own shale gas.
Tidal power has its own problems: peak power moves to different times every day, just look at the high tide times around Britain for the relevant information. And how does the power at 3am, in the Summer, get stored for use at 6pm in the Winter? And then each location has its ecological disaster waiting in the wings, whether it’s the silting up of the created reservoir, that will need power to be removed, to changes in the water table. And this is in addition to the disruption of shipping. And there are very few sites where it’s possible anyway.
The built in snag is the conflation of environmental management and “Climate Change” scaremongering. The established techniques for environment issues, especially in urban areas, are OK, but the ideas of manipulating the weather itself are not. Those that believe in “Net Zero” are skirting around this flawed concept of pretending that they are the same things, but they are not.
I have just read Toby’s article above this about the black, female version of Ranting – that’s Rayner by the way – the one who loves to use the principal weapon so beloved of her colleague Diane Abacus ie the Race Card ( never leave home without it) and there is no option to comment.
Mods???
I read it too and feel very sorry for the way Toby was treated by an MP with ‘previous’ form. The article was to defend Prof Cass who has been threatened and upset by some people who think it is acceptable to experiment on children with life changing consequences.
Look at what a collection of MP’s does to vast swathes of the population or even to individuals such as Mr Assange. Isn’t that why such people are in Parliament (but really shouldn’t be)?
Well I thought it disgusting that this woman gets away with resorting to smears and slander, not just once but on multiple counts, like she has some sort of vindictive agenda against Toby. All because she has nothing factual in her arsenal with which to attack him, she resorts to scraping the barrel using a pack of lies. To pot with all this ”disinformation”, it’s just blatant lies. Shame on this nasty, spiteful piece of work. And she should be shamed far and wide for her vile behaviour because it says a great deal about somebody’s character, let alone their professionalism, or lack thereof.
“there is no option to comment”
Thanks, I noticed that and wasn’t sure if I’d missed something.
It wasn’t like it was an article that required a comment on censorship.
Yeah, not sure if that’s a boob or deliberate. One can’t always be sure these days….
What you betting the Miserable Git Association now descend on me for commenting off-topic?
You’ll be safe as houses, as ever though.
“Diane Abacus”
Love it.
Like your vote she doesn’t count. Or in her case not particularly well.
Thanks
Off-T
https://off-guardian.org/2024/04/19/bird-flu-censorship-100-day-vaccines-7-predictions-for-the-next-pandemic/
Kit Knightly at Off-G discussing the why’s and wherefores of the next Scamdemic which he predicts for January 2025 and will probably be linked to bird ‘flu which will of course allow them to shut down farming.
“ is the rise of authoritarian regimes and the decline of democracy”
Does she include the West?
Yesterday on the radio I tuned in to BBC 4 ( sorry not got DAB ) there was an episode called Antisocial. They were discussing Highway Code, cyclists and car users. They had a real based guy on there ‘James’. not sure the surname. He was criticising the climate cult, their war on cars and Jeremy Vine. Enough to cause an Aneurysm in the BBC studios.
Blimey.
A hidden 5th columnist then? Brilliant!
I liked her from the first. Quirky? Yes. Naive? Yes.
Stitched up by the Bank of England and globalist cabal? Absolutely.
She’s got guts and is correct about a lot of issues. I disagree on Ukraine, but think she would have been the most conservative PM since Thatcher.
More power to her.
I was neither for nor against Liz Truss until the Davos Deviants got involved and clearly told the tory hierarchy to get her out at which point I was firmly a supporter. This was probably the most shameful act of political backstabbing that I have seen in my lifetime. Truss’s views on the economy were correct and an about turn on the fiscal madness was desperately necessary. However, according to the rules the tory hierarchy have been given this country must be driven to bankruptcy which was why The Hunt was forced on Truss. When this manoeuvre failed to get rid she was chased out. I suspect Liz Truss has no skeletons with which she can be blackmailed. I also expect she has some very dark secrets tucked away and which will be let loose if she is harmed.
At least she is giving some return fire. As the saying goes…Every little helps.
Truss was born into a Left Wing family and has traveled across the political spectrum to end up with a good smattering of Conservative Ideas, with most of the travelling being done while within a ‘Conservative Party’ government. It’s quite a feat, really!
It’s why she doesn’t have a History of solid conservative thinking behind her, but it is also how she managed to get into the Parliamentary ‘Conservative Party’ while Cameron was around, when being a LibDem minded Conservative (in name only) was a ticket to success.
I hope she continues to speak out (and we can support her better suggestions) as, at the moment, there is very little worth coming from the party. And there is much to be said.
According to Nadine Dorries in her book, that was the plan. To destroy the Tory party. Maybe something to do with Brexit, that as we know, never really happened.
I have been reading books on Crypto currencies and FTX, what struck me was the amount of energy that the data centres that support this and in future A.I. use in terms of cooling etc,. These things which lets face it are owned by and used by the”Elite” billionaire boys to make more money to buy more private jets useso much emergy in the form of electricity that it dwarfs what the average city would normally use, and there is simply insufficient energy based on current restrictions to power A.I., crypto and the normal needs of citizens and yet the Eco zealots and protesters do not talk or shout for the shutting down of these data centres, neither does Government do anything, in fact the opposite, Sunak et al actively encourages A.I. Why do you think that is?
Conclusion the little people don;t matter, we are dispensible, disposable, what matters is that the tech nerds get to get richer and the Politicians continue to suck up to them.
“the rise of authoritarian regimes and the decline of democracy” is certainly a problem. Britain is a great example.
But which party does Truss support? Ah yes, the Fake Conservatives, under whose watch British democracy has significantly declined, and the State has become a good deal more authoritarian.
She needs to resign from the Conservatives, or get back in her box.
But Miss Truus did you raise those questions in 2019 when Net Zero was being waved through Parliament? ——-I do not think you did. You were part of the group think of all the main party MP’s who asked no questions of cost or viability of Net Zero. There was no DEBATE, and no VOTE. ——You all just waved it on through.