German Public Health Authorities Dispense Lunatic Heatwave Advice Warning Against Air Conditioning

As a 'heat dome' settles over Western Europe, German public health authorities have begun dispensing lunatic heatwave advice, says Eugyppius, including, bizarrely, claiming air conditioning makes rooms warmer.

2 min read

An ominous Heat Dome has settled over Western Europe.

It is literally 30 degrees Celsius (86 degrees Fahrenheit) as I type this, and if you were an alien from Pluto listening to central German radio you’d have to conclude that these temperatures are at the very limits of human survivability. (It’s substantially warmer further west, but the hysteria is the same everywhere.) Meteorologists are running short of death doom colours to depict the dire state of our temperature emergency:

And former Covid Minister Karl Lauterbach has declared that “many people will die” and denounced “Right-wing conspiracy theorists” for not taking sunny summer weather seriously enough.

Meanwhile, in what has become a fixed seasonal ritual, German public health authorities and state media have begun circulating lunatic emergency advice for how to stay cool in this life-threatening heat situation.

Their pointers:

  • Open windows only at night, early in the morning, and late in the evening.
  • Otherwise close all windows and draw all curtains so you can be both uncomfortably warm and profoundly depressed.
  • Safely ensconced in your stuffy dark apartment, unplug all electrical devices, including your internet router, because these can emit heat even in “standby mode”.
  • Also roll up all of your carpets to stop them from storing heat.
  • Hang up wet laundry in your dark apartment to cool the air via evaporation, but do not hang up too much wet laundry or the air will become excessively humid, which is even worse.
  • The one electronic device you might possibly consider plugging in, is a fan, to cool your skin. To enhance the cooling effect, put a bucket of all the ice that you have emptied from your unplugged freezer in front of the fan.
  • What you should not plug in, is any kind of portable air conditioning unit, because the Federal Environmental Agency believes that they will actually make your room warmer when the exhaust air finds its way back into your apartment.

This is the modern German Government in a nutshell: ‘The heat is going to kill you, stay inside with the windows closed and the curtains drawn and do all this other weird, crazy and unheard-of stuff to escape the murderous heat, but whatever you do, don’t do the one thing that will actually substantially reduce interior temperatures, because reasons.’

This article originally appeared on Eugyppius’s Substack newsletter. You can subscribe here.

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20 Comments
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David Jones
David Jones
3 months ago

I don’t ever remember having a warning telling me not to go out carol singing.

mrbu
mrbu
3 months ago
Reply to  David Jones

Think of all the cold air you’d be inhaling! I’ve never seen a warning for extremely cold weather, because it would risk undermining the global warming catastrophe narrative. They concentrate on the obvious safety risks, such as ice and snow, but those of us who like to study all sides of an argument learned long ago that cold weather kills more people than hot weather.

SimCS
SimCS
3 months ago

To be fair, shutting the curtains on windows where the sun is shining in will help keep the inside cooler, simply because it’s stopping shortwave radiation entering and heating the surfaces it lands on, which will keep the air cooler inside. Closing doors & windows is dependent on whether there is any breeze or not to provide a ‘wind chill factor’, so *if* keeping the air inside cooler (e.g. by closing curtains) means not letting warmer air in, there’s a benefit. It seems counter-intuitive, but we’ve done this, and it works.

Solentviews
Solentviews
3 months ago

It has a similar feeling to the Covid panic. Unfortunately the gullible will still be gullible. The good thing is this will pass in a few days.

ChrisA
ChrisA
3 months ago

Hehehe, 22 degrees is red, 14degrees yellow and almost safe but not green, are these Rtards aware that at 12 degrees humans will get hypothermia without clothing.

john1T
john1T
3 months ago

I’m sitting at home with the aircon on. It looks like it could be a chilly night. I don’t give a stuff about any government’s advice. How many of the super rich will be sitting at home with their carpets rolled up and all electrical appliances turned off? None.

soundofreason
soundofreason
3 months ago

Do people really need this sort of advice? Can they really not tell when the breeze from an open window is warming their rooms rather than cooling? Do they feel they have to wait until Nanny State tells them what to do?

Come on guys, look at this advice: your politicians and civil servants think you are morons. Aren’t you insulted? Let them know…

transmissionofflame
transmissionofflame
3 months ago
Reply to  soundofreason

Mrs ToF is Italian. Her mum didn’t make it beyond elementary school – different times. She knew how to keep the house cool in the summer (where they are from, the summers are hotter than here so it’s something you need to know). I don’t think the government told her how to do it somehow.

Alec in France
Alec in France
3 months ago
Reply to  soundofreason

“Can they really not tell when the breeze from an open window is warming their rooms rather than cooling?”
Not always, it appears. One way to spot newly arrived Brits in our sunny climes is by all the wide open windows when it’s pushing 40 outside.


transmissionofflame
transmissionofflame
3 months ago

We’ve just enjoyed burgers and beer sitting in our garden. Earlier today, those who find heat uncomfortable would have been better off in the shade – luckily shade is readily available in the UK as this is not the Sahara desert. Right it’s warm enough for shorts and a t shirt but there’s a coolness in the air. Climate nutters can go and do one.

soundofreason
soundofreason
3 months ago

OMG you weren’t burning charcoal were you? Think of all that CO2! Worse than that, do you realise how much CO2 is released when you open a beer bottle? For shame!

Cheers!

transmissionofflame
transmissionofflame
3 months ago
Reply to  soundofreason

100%

Cheers to you too – I’m on pudding now (Courvoisier VSOP).

Kev
Kev
3 months ago

30c… lol

stewart
stewart
3 months ago

It’s been a really cold miserable winter. The damage to the climate narrative needs to be repaired. So any deviation from the norm towards the upside is going to be used to generate hysteria. The covid playbook.

I wonder how many zombies will play along on this occasion?

Pete Sutton
Pete Sutton
3 months ago

Will wishing someone snshine count as a Hate Crime?

D J
D J
3 months ago
Reply to  Pete Sutton

It would be Unwise in Morecambe.

For a fist full of roubles
For a fist full of roubles
3 months ago

The advice will drive people to kill themselves due to depression.

Dinger64
Dinger64
3 months ago

“Globally, cold-related deaths outnumber heat-related deaths by a large margin. Research indicates that cold temperatures kill roughly 8 to 10 times more people than excessive heat.”

Say no more!

Mogwai
Mogwai
3 months ago
Reply to  Dinger64

This is literally so many people, including me, lol. We don’t have aircon so all I’ll say is thank god for those Dyson bladeless fans on a night;

https://www.facebook.com/BestOfUKComedy/videos/peter-kay-on-how-to-deal-with-heatwaves-%EF%B8%8F/916690818843403/

Roy Everett
Roy Everett
3 months ago

“Record” anything is the exact opposite of “climate”. The latter is *average* weather over the planet over a century, not one measurement half way up a jet exhaust at Heathrow.

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