Twelve Ways to Voice Opposition to Daft Ideas Without Losing Friends or Alienating People

It is my contention that the mess we are in today is in part because not enough of us are prepared to share our misgivings about social/corporate/political policies for fear of losing our job or social situation. What needs to happen is for more of us to speak up and stop the woke mind virus from further entrenchment. For instance, there must have been someone working in Number 11 who was uneasy about the Chancellor’s plan to remove all pictures of men from the State Room. I have a fantasy of a cleaner bravely approaching Rachel Reeves and asking her to reconsider, suggesting it sends a dangerous message to working class white boys who are the most educationally unsuccessful in the U.K. Rachel Reeves would suddenly realise her error and shout: “Yes – boys need role models too!” Yet no-one spoke out and the Chancellor’s misguided iconoclasm continues. (And the worrying thing is, if she’s getting these small decisions wrong what sort of Horlicks is she making of the big ones?)

Whether it’s a new HR wheeze at work that seeks to entrench difference, a dinner party debate or an inappropriate initiative from our children’s schools, we small folk must find our voices and speak out, politely and firmly before more damage is done.

What stops us from speaking out?

There is a gulf between our instincts and our ability to articulate what we object to and why
We instinctively dislike conflict
We worry we will speak clumsily so instead of voicing our legitimate concerns we say nothing at all
We have hopeless memories and are unable to remember those useful facts when required
If of a conversative disposition, we fundamentally avoid attempting to change anyone’s mind for the simple fact we are comfortable with allowing people their own thoughts

How to get better at objecting to unedifying ideas

Ask the person suggesting an obviously daft idea if he or she would mind if you shared your opinion about it, rather than foisting it on him or her uninvited.
Respect others’ intentions. Most people are good and are trying their best, so avoid a heavy-handed aggressive disapproval.
Ask questions: “That’s such an interesting idea Chancellor, what are you hoping to achieve by it?” Often, that is sufficient: if the idea is flawed it will unravel itself in no time.
Remember your Aristotle: to win debates you need ethos, logos and pathos. Ethos is your good character and your authority to speak on the subject – most crudely used by those who say “as a mother…”. Logos is the truth of the matter. Pathos is your ability to persuade your opponent. Emotion alone is insufficient to win the point, it must be backed up by truth, but an ability to connect with and respect the emotion of your opponent is vital.
Remember you are debating the idea not the person. Don’t make him or her feel threatened, belittled or ill-informed.
Just try it! You don’t need to present a fully formed Douglas Murray-style-gotcha speech, initially it might just be sufficient to say, “I’m not yet sure why, but this idea is making me feel uncomfortable, may I have a think about it and get back to you?” If social or career disaster doesn’t follow, then you may feel emboldened to make a more spirited and researched objection later.
Be prepared to flatter. “You will know more about this than me but have you thought about…”
Listen to your opponent. Don’t stand there rolling your eyes, tutting or guffawing,
Remain calm and never shout.
Be prepared to use their own language. “Chancellor, this act of removing artworks of men might be considered by some to sit adjacent to sexism…”
Be satisfied with having planted a seed of doubt in those who listen to you, rather than furiously fighting for decisive victory.
Remind yourself why making a stand is important: “If not me, who? If not now, when?”