Selling the Crown Jewels and seeing how many policemen can get on a motorbike have headlined previous forays in these pages into the parallel universe of Rejected Petitions to the U.K. Parliament. With all current petitions being due to be closed on May 30th until after the forthcoming General Election, it seemed like an appropriate time to take another dive to see what gems could be found.
Most proposals for petitions are reasonable and fail solely because there is already a petition on that issue to which the hopeful petitioner is directed. Thus, there is usually a rash of proposals about things that are perennially of general concern, such as the availability of tobacco products to children, potholes on major roads and the closure of health service facilities. Legalisation of cannabis is also a popular rejected petition. Another theme is for particular people to be honoured or stripped of honours, and the hopeful petitioners are reminded that this is a matter for the Honours Committee and not, directly, a matter for Parliament.
Rejected petitions also reflect the times more immediately, such as attempts to raise petitions to hold a General Election (a matter purely for the sitting Prime Minister), stopping the fining of families who take their children on vacation during term time (a matter for schools and local educational authorities) and calls for the Football Association not to stop holding FA Cup replays (a matter for the FA alone to decide). All of these were the subject of numerous rejected petitions along with proposals either to legalise or ban e-scooters (petitions already exist) and to make it illegal to tamper with the design of the flag of St. George (remarkably, not under the purview of the U.K. Parliament).
And then the gems. Behind many of these it is possible to sense anger, impulse and humour. This is evident in the speed with which many have been typed, with scant regard to capitalisation, spacing or punctuation. Some of the hopeful petitioners were clearly lexicographically challenged, and all the titles are reproduced as they appeared on the Rejected Petitions website. For example, consider the proposal to “Make it a legal requirement to upload photo I’d for social media accounts uk” [sic].
You can almost sense the alcohol or fury-fuelled sentiment behind the petition to “Get rishi sunak out of office”. Naturally, such ad hominem attempts to raise petitions fail on the basis that they are “about honours or appointments”, and petitions also fail if they include “calling for Ministers to be sacked or for a vote of no confidence”. Election fever had clearly not gripped one hopeful petitioner, who resurrected an old Rejected Petitions chestnut to “Put ‘None of the above’ on all General Election ballot forms” which continues to be rejected because there is an existing petition on the same issue.
Remarkably few rejected petitions are overtly political, but one exception was the suggestion to “vote for Independent Aberdeenshire. From. Scotland,but not United Kingdom” [sic]. This seemed like a poorly structured cry from the heart from a fellow Aberdonian who had suffered enough under the reign of trans-terror and restrictions on free speech by the SNP. It was rejected on the grounds that “It requests action at a local level”. Also, from north of the border, but with ‘Scottish’ misspelt, was the very strange request to “Add Scotttish Gaelic as a supported languages on digital game fronts”. This rather niche request was rejected as it is not something that is the responsibility of the U.K. Parliament.
Not all petitions are negative and there were a few requests – all rejected naturally – to honour various people. From someone clearly unable to see through the doom laden rhetoric of the elder statesman of modern Malthusianism, came the suggestion that we “Put David Attenborough on a bank note”. The petitioner did not say whether this was to be effected before or after his death. “Make David Tennant a lord” was the subject of another rejected petition, and I so wanted the response to be that he could not be made a lord because he was already a Time Lord… but it wasn’t.
One we could all have got behind, had it been permitted, was the suggestion to “Give Mr. Alan Bates (from the Post Office) a Knighthood”. It was touching how the hopeful petitioner felt the need to ensure that the person reading the request knew that Mr. Bates was “from the Post Office” despite the fact that his long-standing departure from said Post Office was what gave rise to his fame.
Some requests are remarkably vague, such as the one which simply said “Build a Primark”. Delving a bit deeper into this compounded the vagueness, as it was to be built “Next to lidal, So I don’t have to travel a long way away” [sic]. Unfortunately, which ‘lidal’ was not specified. Had the missing details been provided, it is quite possible that this petition would not have been rejected. Who knows?
Some petitioners really lack the knack of writing concise and memorable titles for their requests, such as “We would like to be able to get to go in the gymnasium in the allander” which, on reading, seemed like a perfectly reasonable topic as it was about the physical and mental health of young people. Nevertheless, it was rejected.
My guess is a Tottenham fan requested we “Get rid of Arsenal FC as a football team” and someone, possibly a vertically challenged petitioner, had clearly had their hopes of becoming a model dashed in requesting that we “Remove height restrictions in modelling agency’s” [sic]. The U.K. Government Petitions website is just the place for the terminally disaffected to vent their feelings. The mental health benefits of such a service cannot be underestimated.
The rejected petitions website is not only amusing, it is educational. The request to “Ban the production and sale of blue swimwear for babies and children” highlighted a concern, for which a petition already exists, about the purported danger to babies and children of wearing blue swimwear, which allegedly makes them invisible in the water, making it harder to see them if they get into trouble. I had no idea that this was considered a problem, but it is.
Parliament should be exhorted to “Make it legal for drivers to report a collision with a cat”. Apart from wondering how large a cat must be to be ‘collided’ with, as opposed simply to being run over, presumably the petitioner meant that it should become a ‘legal requirement’ to report squishing a tabby if you were the driver of the car that squished it. This is clearly not a new concern as a petition already exists on the same topic.
It is hard to make sense of what the petitioner was asking in proposing a petition on “Telephone masts bullying our famers making them take 95% cut”. And that was precisely the conclusion of the civil servant responding, who rejected the petition.
I couldn’t end without reference to one request which pulled at my heartstrings. I imagined some young lad in an area far from the green belt or sports facilities whose request was “I would like a small football pitch made near my house to play with my friends”. Bless!
Finally, the mystery of Belinda the cat can be solved by checking the request to “Let Belinda the cat back in Tesco”.
Dr. Roger Watson is Academic Dean of Nursing at Southwest Medical University, China. He has a PhD in biochemistry. He writes in a personal capacity.
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“Anti-lockdown protesters flood Melbourne”.
Surprisingly, “Ceefax” covered this. Unsurprisingly, they didn’t mention the police using “beanbag bullets” on a crowd they knew included children.
Anyway, so far as I’m concerned, all those who turned up to protest the wholesale human rights abuses under this totalitarian regime, despite threats, fines, bullets and prison, are heroes.
I attended the rally in Perth yesterday. Estimated attendance 3-4,000. Not large, but larger perhaps than either the organisers or the police anticipated. Cop presence was very light, and non-aggressive.
The local news has reported that ‘about 1000’ attended. Well, I wouldn’t want that reporter handling my tax return.
The RSL (Returned Services League) got into the story somehow. I wasn’t aware of that until I read the story after the protest. The crowd gathered at the War Memorial but marched from there to a difference place for the speeches. So far as I could see there was no disrespect of the Memorial.
I have a friend in Perth – complete branch-covidian as far as I’m aware – won’t engage in any conversation (because lockdowns work you know!). Is that because things aren’t as tyrannical over your side of the country yet do you think? It seems to have to directly affect some poeple before they can be bothered to think about it. Some of us are outraged just because it’s happening anywhere in the world, without being directly affected ourselves in any tangible way (apart from being terminally peed off with muzzles).
Our longest lockdown was three months and that was mid-2020. Masky Mark has kept himself to himself lately. He dropped a few lockdowns in quick succession during the first half of this year, but right now we’re living free. (As free as we can under a needlessly prolonged state of emergency.)
Not too long ago I thought McGowan was playing Hold My Beer with Dan Andrews and Gavin Newsom. He has made a few daft statements about ‘stamping covid out’ – as if it’s a cockroach running across the kitchen floor.
It’s possible, I suppose, that McGowan is smart enough to see that eastern states premiers are just digging themselves in deeper. However I’m not much inclined to credit him with that much wisdom on such scant evidence.
Helpful video showing what’s going on https://youtu.be/z-hThCBi8GQ
Wake up!!!
Just like you Britz during the Blits, we’re keeping our sense of humour.
We may not have George Formby but we do have Matt Wong.
Let the children play!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRNa7S8YZXA
Excellent! He should probably start mirroring to Rumble, BitChute or Odysee.
Have you seen his regular Friday show The People’s Project? Combined with Damian Coory’s The Other Side it’s the best Australian news service online.
Heat pumps are not only inadequate and expensive – they are noisy as F.
Believe me, I’ve owned one. GCH is a gajillion times better in so many ways.
Prime Minister Nut Nuts must be sidelined immediately.
Her champagne socialist Bolleaux Crapola will destroy the UK unless it’s stopped.
P.S. Until the likes of Al Bore, Emma Thompson, Sting, Bono, Soros, Me-Gain, Clooney, O’Bama and the rest of them stop swanning about in private jets while lecturing us about ’emissions’, they can GFT.
Hear hear! Add to that the fact that none of this is going to change the weather anyway!
Noisy, expensive and don’t work. Hmmm, much like the government then, no wonder they like them.
“Medical Apartheid” may come to closely resemble “Racial Apartheid”. In the west, the immigrant population is typically from countries where the governments are corrupt and the grasping leaders look only to their own. As shown by the low uptake of vaccines in migrant-heavy areas that suspicious nature seems to carry over to their new country.
People born and bred in the west are far more likely to trust government and believe it acts in their interests – or at least not deliberately against their interests.
So what happens when the immigrant population turns out to be the major reserve of the unvaccinated and gets treated as second class citizens courtesy of the Vaccine Passport system? At best, I can’t imagine the optics being very “PC”.
On the bright side, such a prospect may help suppress the enthusiasm for the VP, in which case we should have a vote of thanks for the gimlet eye of our newer migrants.
Another fine product from Unexpected Consequences Incorporated (trading as The WhutThaPhuk Company).
DR MIKE YEADON THE MIDAZOLAM MURDERS IN UK – WELCOME TO THE UK (LAND OF HOPE AND GLORY NOT)
https://www.bitchute.com/video/vuMgAsmZulZw/
Stand in South Hill Park Bracknell every Sunday from 10am meet fellow anti lockdown freedom lovers, keep yourself sane, make new friends and have a laugh.
(also Wednesdays from 2pm)
Join our Stand in the Park – Bracknell – Telegram Group
http://t.me/astandintheparkbracknell
Remarkable to see the Beeb even allowing debate about the Holy Snake Oil. Quotes Professor Eleanor Riley:
She said: “We really need to consider, are we just frightening people rather than giving them the confidence to get on with their lives? We’re close to just worrying people now.”
Somebody noticed! It only took 18months! Well done, that Prof!
‘Close’ to just worrying?
Yes it is remarkable to see that on the BBC. I’m certainly not going to read too much in to it, and yet it is there for a purpose.
There is nothing that comes out of that organisation that isn’t designed or contrived for a particular purpose. It long ago ceased to be objective, factual, unbiased and a forum for ideas and discussion. Probably it’s been told by “Number 10” that it should now adjust the volume knob on the fear-transmitter, with a likely quid pro quo being some major concessions on licence fees and so forth. Money probably also comes into it somewhere, as it does with everything the corrupt Johnson government touches.
I see that the appointment of Paul Dacre to be chairman of OFCOM has been delayed/kicked in to the long grass/selection to be rerun. Dacre, ex-Mail, is no lover of the BBC and has said that reforming it (how?) is among his priorities. Bob to a dollar that is some part of the qpg.
I think the BBC is starting to get scared of being caught on the wrong side of this, as so many issues. That licence fee won’t keep paying their salaries should the public rebel en masse.
Nick Triggle on Ceefax has been producing some remarkably well balanced and even sceptical articles about the Chinese Virus for some time. Surprising, but fair play to the chap.
A friend shared a link to that BBC article yesterday. The headline then was:”Is catching Covid now better than more vaccine?” I was very encouraged to see that on the BBC. However, they seem to have neutralised the original heading somewhat!
https://uk.redcon1.com
UK site of the company that dropped Arnie.
One to support, let’s all buy our vitamins from them henceforth.
“Schwarzenegger’s pro-mask position didn’t square with REDCON1 founder Aaron Singerman.
“Making the public declaration, ‘screw your freedoms,’ is dangerous and anti-American,” read the release that was first reported by Daily Wire.
“REDCON1 is a patriotic pro-freedom brand and community. We support everyone’s individual freedoms.”
https://www.hartpury.ac.uk/
Why is Fartbury college still showing the European Union flag in the footer of its website?
Because it’s fully accredited to teach the workings of modern Britain in a sort of veterinary or agricultural learning environment. I imagine that one of the textbooks is “Animal Farm”, and the European connection is evident in the character of Napoleon, leader of les animaux. Rashers for all.
Had anyone heard of Hartbury before this?
Vaguely, as one of several agricultural colleges. Reading through their FAQs, I hope their ideas of animal health and husbandry are rather better than those for Covid that they seek to apply to their
debtorsstudents. A farrago of propaganda and unchewed Government cud; enough to raise a serious colic.HartPury. Yes vaguely as a not very famous agricultural college.
The article in the Sun about the tattoo. Unfortunately you have copied their error in calling it a bar code when it is actually a QR code.
Having an identifier tattoo on a person reminds me of those who were impressed during WW2
If “booster” shots are mandatory, perhaps they will require new QR codes. If that be so, this individual will have more inking than Lydia the Tattooed Lady. Let’s hope he doesn’t wind up as did Drioli in Dahl’s “Skin”.
I imagine that subcutaneous chips will replace the WW2 identifiers, for both saints and sinners (the latter having blood group tattooed, per WW2 Continental military).
“What’s the best way to top up our immunity?” – Now we have some protection, do we need to keep boosting or can nature take its course, asks James Gallagher in BBC News
My god, he’ll get himself sacked speaking such heresy on the BBC!
In the early days of the hysteria, Nick Triggle slipped a few mostly-truthful articles in. His articles would last an hour or two before being rapidly demoted from the front page.
This article was promoted near the top of the front page for near 24 hours yesterday. The narrative is changing. Perhaps we will get a short reprieve before the next phase.
Yes uptick for Nick Triggle too. I suspect some people will never be promoted.
Not so sure the narrative is changing, more like being relaxed briefly prior to the next lockdown.
I felt very proud of all those Austalians who decided to fight back against their tyrannical governments and the political thugs who have made their lives miserable and unbearable for a long time now – I sincerely hope those freedom-loving Australians who protested succeed in tearing down the corrupt and fascistic junta that seems to have a stranglehold on the nation at the moment and appear to be using the virus as an excuse to run the country like a military dictatorship – those protests were just the beginning – this is now irreversible – the Australian government cannot stop this – this is not the end but it is the beginning of the end – every other Australian will see those protests and realise that their is nothing to fear exept fear itself – they have nothing to lose but their chains – the days are numbered for the evil politicians who implented possibly the most cruelest dictats and curfews in the western world – those politicians will get their just deserts and I hope they suffer as much pain and agony as those ordinary Australians who have suffered since the onset of this whole covid insanity.
Truth and justice will always prevail – throughout history tyrants always get their comeuppance.
There will be martyrs before this is over.