In the last week or so, the Government has staged a number of performances for the public’s benefit. This play is driven by the far-fetched conceit of a U.K. Prime Minister, acted by a wooden Keir Starmer, claiming that economic ‘growth’ is the Government’s key goal. The leading lady, Rachel Reeves (badly) plays the part of the Chancellor of the Exchequer, who is charged with developing the policies that will enable this growth. But the play’s antagonist, the Secretary of State for Energy Security and Net Zero, who is hammily rendered by a hyperactive Ed Miliband, has his own designs. The plot unfolds in front of the supporting cast, playing members of news media organisations. They all pretend to know of the tension between the goal of growth and Miliband’s plots to prevent it. And then the drama reaches its dramatic climax… nothing happens at all.
In this stupid play that we must endure as a captive audience, passionless robotic cardboard cutouts of humans attempt to synthesise emotions for us to ‘connect’ with. The Prime Minister wants the audience to understand that, despite his incantations of vapid slogans in interminable monotonous adenoidal whinges, he feels their pain as economic indicators tumble, and that his agenda for change is our shining beacon of hope. The loyal Chancellor’s best attempts to portray some likenesses of having anything between the ears with which to produce an agenda for growth resembles a dog barking boasts. It doesn’t matter what is put to her, she has only one response: her lines, repeated ad nauseum, that are far-fetched indeed. The play is written by someone who doesn’t know what growth is.
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