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Can I Ever Forgive Them For Forcing My Teenage Son With a Stammer to Wear a Mask?

by Fraser Krats
28 July 2022 9:03 PM

My stepson, Arthur, had just turned 15 when the pandemic seemed to be approaching the U.K. in early 2020, and was wryly amused by discussions of it around our dinner table: “Just carry on… they’re blowing it out of proportion… if it looks like they’re closing schools, we’ll book a holiday until it blows over.” He might have been a little perplexed when, in March, I pressed ahead with my intention to keep things as normal as possible for our children, still inviting grandparents over and positively insisting on get-togethers with friends – and, of course, the Girlfriend. As with most things in his life, Arthur quietly and readily acquiesced.

In October, he might have been baffled when, as a second national shut-down seemed imminent, we extended our holiday in Devon to eke out a few more days of freedom. In January 2021, he merely raised an eyebrow when the announcement came that he wouldn’t be sitting GCSE exams, shrugging it off as an ideal outcome for him, hoping that his teachers, suddenly determining his grades, would look upon him favourably.

You see, he’s a very easy-going teenage boy. He’s blond with blue eyes, very handsome, thoughtful, funny and kind. And he has struggled, since the age of three, with a stammer, which varies from relatively minor difficulties with certain sounds on one day, to being utterly unable to produce words on another.

So he might have been concerned when, in summer 2020, we returned from a holiday abroad to find the whole country suddenly covering its collective face everywhere it went, the first mandate of its kind having been introduced here. I was very well-prepared: I swotted up on the Government website as to how exemptions worked, and immediately (and not without legitimacy) exempted myself, with my wife quickly following suit. Many countries simply didn’t allow for exemptions, and in some sort of Covid perversion of Stockholm syndrome, I felt a degree of gratitude to the U.K. for its history of caring for the vulnerable, of tolerance, and of respect for others. U.K. law, I later discovered, regards a stammer as a disability, in regard to the somewhat serious matter of discrimination in the provision of goods and services, in the Equality Act of 2010.

In practice, of course, this exemption thing was much harder than it sounded, and the black and white, plain, hard fact of legally backed exemption contrasted wildly to our new reality: my wife and I faced dirty looks, hostile and aggressive challenges, and a creeping, pervasive sense of wrongdoing everywhere we went. Friendly, local supermarkets employed not-too-friendly bouncers, high street boutiques suddenly became quite choosy about their customers, councils took on Covid marshals who pulled us to one side, the Government told us we were granny-killers. Previously sane, sensible people – friends, academics, scientists for God’s sake! – paraded around the place, just like that, with their faces covered, seemingly without question or pause. 

For Arthur, understandably lacking the hardened scepticism and insouciance of his stepfather, it might have been some sort of living hell. This boy, this adolescent, teenage boy, struggles to speak sometimes, and now it seemed like the whole country wanted him to put a cloth over his mouth, and, what’s more, would treat him like dirt if he didn’t. 

Then, next up, face coverings were ‘recommended’ in schools by the DfE, with a terminology and a force that made even this pedant doubt his own understanding of the word. And so, as I wrote at the time, clamouring and failing to be heard:

Binding children’s faces for five or more hours per day, and surrounding them with a sea of bound faces, surely only adds to the overwhelming sense of hazard and danger already caused in schools by cancelled exams, prolonged closures, ‘bubbles’, hand sanitising stations, dramatically altered timetables, one way systems and barriers, a total collapse of routine and predictability, and much more besides. To foist face coverings upon children when transmission in schools is apparently not disproportionate, when young people are frankly unthreatened by the virus, when there is no evidence that face coverings reduce transmission, and when the DfE simply “recommend” it, is heinous. I see little difference between that and making them tie their germ-spreading hands behind their backs. I am sickened by it, and it is beyond my understanding that parents, teachers, politicians and wider society seem so unperturbed by it all.

One doesn’t have to be an expert in the complexities and precious fragilities of oral communication to figure out that strapping an obstacle over the mouth will not be conducive to the physical and mental effort it can take a stammerer to form clear and fluent sounds. Arthur understood Covid as well as anyone, he understood his own difficulties, and he chose to exempt himself, which we squarely supported. There were times when, to avoid conflict, he did cover his face, and we supported him in that too. He was, remember, a schoolboy, only 15 years old. He came to understand, unlike so many others, and in stark contradistinction to his new, everyday experiences, that the law was in fact on his side, and perhaps to take a little comfort or strength from that. 

At other times, though, he was intimidated by a bus driver who, well after the mandate had been lifted, exploded in fury at him, pulling the bus over to leave the driver’s booth and yell at him in front of his college peers and other members of the public. He was refused entry to McDonalds – in town, with his mates – by a staff member who was simply applying her own rules (or those of the company?) by just not allowing him access to the restaurant; he unintentionally hesitated when attempting to explain his exemption to her, and she interrupted, flatly refuting it. His Sixth Form college pressed on and on and on with its rules that he hourly prove his exemption by wearing a lanyard, in flagrant contradiction of Government guidance, until, finally, my wife felt driven to threaten them with future legal action for stigmatising him and damaging his mental health. The head backed down – but only for our son, not on the policy itself. How could it be that so many employees in so many organisations still acted as though they had no clue about the details of exemptions, which I had found out for myself online in minutes?   

Ours is not the kind of family that discloses and dissects every single feeling. But I know that my stepson’s stammer can cause him frustration, upset, embarrassment and distress. I know that there are circumstances he sometimes avoids putting himself in, or has found ways to work around. I can well believe that, in a world of ubiquitous face coverings, he experienced heightened nerves and anxiety of some situations, that there were times over a two and a half year period when he decided not to go to that event, or see those people, or do that thing.  Well – thanks everybody; very well done.

I don’t need an expert to tell me that face coverings are worse than useless. Nevertheless, when a SAGE adviser went on the record against the efficacy of them in July 2021, I hoped we might see the back of the objects of my disgust: “Imagine marbles fired at builders’ scaffolding, some might hit a pole and rebound, but obviously most will fly through.” Few adherents seemed even to flinch. Some openly celebrated face coverings as a symbol with which to promote fear. And thus it was, presumably, that face coverings were reintroduced to schools in January 2022, still without a shred of evidence that they reduce transmission at all, never mind amongst children crowded together in busy classrooms.

My sorry conclusion is that this country, which made a great deal of noise about youth mental health in the years preceding the pandemic, does not give much of a damn about my stepson – or indeed anyone else with any kind of communication difficulties. Or, for that matter, about young people. I therefore continue to wait patiently for one of two outcomes, some hard evidence perhaps, which will guide us one of two ways into our glorious post-Covid landscape: either face coverings are a big enough success to warrant the total disregard of the communication difficulties of a sizeable chunk of the population, or they are so pathetically, criminally useless that we can actively recommend against them in the future. Neither Arthur nor I will hold our breath.

Fraser Krats is a secondary school teacher.

Tags: ChildrenExemptionsMask ExemptMask MandatesSchoolchildrenSchools

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28 Comments
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johnboy12
johnboy12
2 years ago

As a young lad, I had a bad stammer. It was hugely embarrassing and I didnt understand why I had it. It was a very tough time. I still stammer now every now and again, not often, but it does revist. It’s horrible, demeaning and dents your self confidence like nothing else will. So, No, you can never forgive them. It’s abuse and you never forgive an abuser

Last edited 2 years ago by johnboy12
111
0
DanClarke
DanClarke
2 years ago

Muzzles are an outrage, the extremists in all of the establishments were given a free run. As an adult I found it hard enough, can only imagine how hard it was for someone so young. I have a hearing problem and lip read much of the time which presented huge problems. I walked away from many conversations after telling people I couldn’t understand them and they just spoke louder!

100
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Marcus Aurelius knew
Marcus Aurelius knew
2 years ago

Thank you for sharing this, Fraser.

These records are so important for those in the future who will – will! – continue to shelter fragile liberty in their hands…

It motivates me to write my experiences since March 2020.

And thank you, Toby Young and Team, for making and keeping this space available.

Sarai qualcuno se resterai diverso dagli altri.
From Vent’Anni by Måneskin

66
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TJN
TJN
2 years ago

I wouldn’t forgive them. Those people are not fit to have the care of children.

If others want to forgive then that’s up to them. I will neither forgive nor forget.

Odd isn’t it how your boy got so much hassle for not wearing a mask. I never wore a mask anywhere once, and scarcely got any trouble at all. Then again I’m a six foot bloke who does plenty of exercise and who probably looks as if he’s got plenty of forceful answers ready.

As well as having a load of other unfortunate traits, the people who hassled your boy are bullies.

And how long before some unfortunate parent posts an article: ‘Can I ever forgive them for forcing my teenage child to take the vaccine?’

As I say, I’m neither forgiving nor forgetting.

PS: hopefully your boy has learnt some useful life lessons from this debacle.

Last edited 2 years ago by TJN
92
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JayBee
JayBee
2 years ago
Reply to  TJN

I can second that. It seems that mask enforcement here was and is solely an occupation for bullies and their by them easily identified potential victims.
Just a few days ago, I accompanied a friend to a radiology appointment in a huge hospital maskless and was never harassed, to the contrary.
I do think that the British character also plays a positive role here- politeness, reservedness, born to be mild etc- very much in contrast to the other country and people I had and have to deal with in this regard, ze Germans, who fully lived and still live up to their true character and most nasty reputation again.

10
0
RW
RW
2 years ago
Reply to  JayBee

Ze Germans are still ruled by a political class which tries very hard to be 110% American (left) on everything because anything else is what the Nazis do. These people have forced my 82 year old mother to walk everywhere with a N95 mask in her face which was causing her constant pain and distress and (for a time at least) managed to scare her into believing that this was actually necessary.

That’s certainly not my idea of German character.

Last edited 2 years ago by RW
10
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stewart
stewart
2 years ago

The author is right not to hold his breath.

The world has been plunged into a kind of medical sharia. Masks and vaccines are the physical symbols of this new quasi religious law.

Their efficacy are irrelevant, their pushers don’t care about efficacy. They are tools of enforcement of and compliance to a new ideology.

Like with most religions, it is a collectivist ideology, created by people who wish to impose themselves on us and dominate us.

They exploit our fear of death and offer redemption through submission. Wear a mask, take our jabs and you will be saved from death.

They also exploit our need to be part of something bigger and more meaningful through some form of self sacrifice. The irrationality is in fact an essential part of this. There is a strange nobility to irrational faith.

There is no other way to explain the succes of something that is otherwise so completely useless and pointless.

83
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Woodburner
Woodburner
2 years ago

Putting implementation and enforcement of the nonsensical “preventative measures” in the hands of the ignorant, the bigoted, and the very often amateurs in industry, commerce, public service and everyday normal life was, and still is, licenced sadism.

48
0
Lockdown Sceptic
Lockdown Sceptic
2 years ago

It’s now obvious that politicians don’t care about anyone but themselves. Watch the following video to find out what George Osborne is up to.

Why Do Politicians Retire So Rich?
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Godfrey Bloom Official

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“But what can I do? I am just one person”, said 8 billion people …

Thursday 4th August 11am to 12pm
Yellow Boards 
Junction A321 Wargrave Road & 
A4 New Bath Road 
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Stand in the Park Sundays 10.30am to 11.30am – make friends & keep sane 

Wokingham 
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South Hill Park, Rear Lawn, RG12 7PA

Telegram astandintheparkbracknell

18
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transmissionofflame
transmissionofflame
2 years ago

True forgiveness can only come after repentance. I’ve seen little signs of repentance.

36
-1
huxleypiggles
huxleypiggles
2 years ago
Reply to  transmissionofflame

The bastards can repent all they want, I’m never forgetting and certainly not forgiving.

16
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otisluxton
otisluxton
2 years ago

I’ve just finished reading The Psychology of Totalitarianism by Mattias Desmet, and what has been made even clearer to me, despite already knowing that masking was enforced as a psychological tool, is that the population adopted masks as a group-signifyer. The mass formation psychosis which I believe was knowingly put upon the population (how can SPI-B not have known that this would have been the outcome of the governments’ actions, unless they really are more ignorant than they let on) essentially created two tribes: those in the grip of the psychosis, and that smaller group who were not.

And just as we have seen in countless times in history, there is absolutely no tolerance for those who don’t perform with religious zeal, the rituals of the tribe – masking being the most explicit, amongst others. And when I say no tolerance, the totality of the psychosis is such that even an exemption is seen as a gross dissent/offence against the religion. All rationality, nuance or compassion is thrown out of the window seeing as the collective group is all that matters – the individual a pesky notion that’s best done away with. I imagine everyone at ‘Lockdown Sceptics’ has been shouted at or threatened for not masking at some point? This enraged policing of others is not normal, rational behabiour.

As Mattias Desmet sums up in his book, in times of mass formation psychosis it’s incredibly important that folks stand up for the sanctity of the individual, even if they are very small in numbers. Such psychosis and totalitarianism isn’t sustainable, and eventually things fall apart and people regain their senses. But it’s important that there is always pushback throughout the dark times as to hopefully banish the illness sooner rather than later.

27
0
Epi
Epi
2 years ago
Reply to  otisluxton

Thank you Sir very well put. I too have Mattias Desmet’s book. I haven’t read it yet as I have lots of books on the current madness that I’m wading through but really looking forward to The Psychologically of Totalitarianism.

8
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Jane G
Jane G
2 years ago
Reply to  otisluxton

I’ve been listening to Prof Desmet’s conversation with Chris Martensen on the Peak Prosperity podcast (this after his chat with Bret Weinstein).
I was struck by a point he made in this that I haven’t really grasped before: that the greater one’s expertise and training in a discipline like science, the more humane and humble one becomes. He likened it to the Eastern training in martial arts where you study the techniques and then sort of forget them. Sounds like many of our purveyors of The Science are pretty superficial, unless I misunderstood the point he was trying to make.
He made it sound almost religious -( but we should be careful how we use that term because religiosity has become an unfortunate manifestation in the public’s observation of anti -COVID rituals.

1
0
otisluxton
otisluxton
2 years ago
Reply to  Jane G

I’ve not heard that interview, although I think perhaps you might be referring to something that Desmet expands on in his book regarding that a real expert trancends the mechanistic way of thinking and working; i.e. learned intuition takes over.

Essentially his argument is that a mechanistic way of thinking/working is an unintended consequence of the enlightenment, which leads to an overly-rationalised mindset which is often at the core of totalitarian states; think technocracy/eugenics etc. I think he’s essentially arguing for a more intuitive and less mechanistic form of scientific and social enquiry, which he argues can only be only achieved from true mastery of ones craft. This particular part of the book rang true with me as i’m a woodworker for a living, and can see how working purely intuitively is the ultimate aim when practicing something like I do.

0
0
AethelredTheReadier
AethelredTheReadier
2 years ago

I admire your stand and applaud your stepson for making his own difficult decision. It is abhorrent to me that schoolchildren should be forced to act and look like, well, slaves. Every time I see a school bus go by with its masked passengers fills me with sadness and anger. If these ‘authorities’ that impose these mandates bothered to do their own research, bothered to do some of their own thinking even, they would find plenty of studies that show the utter ineffectiveness of masks. Let’s not forget for one moment, it is all about control and fear.

43
0
VAX FREE IanC
VAX FREE IanC
2 years ago
Reply to  AethelredTheReadier

And so say all of us! Face knickers? Sick symbols of subjugation!

25
0
Epi
Epi
2 years ago
Reply to  AethelredTheReadier

“If these ‘authorities’ that impose these mandates bothered to do their own research, bothered to do some of their own thinking..”

They don’t care they are bully boys drunk on their newly created power and they are loving every minute of it. Evil pure evil.

12
0
@yorkshirekate
@yorkshirekate
2 years ago

I never wore a mask. I was rarely challenged but if I was, I responded with a polite “I’m exempt” and was never turned away. It did cause me occasional anxiety but it was much easier as an adult woman than as a child or young person. Reading Arthur’s story, I’m full of sympathy but also full of admiration that he stood his ground, particularly against his bombastic headmaster, who really should have known and done better. So bloody well done and bless you, Arthur; you’re stronger than you might think.

43
0
huxleypiggles
huxleypiggles
2 years ago
Reply to  @yorkshirekate

I have never worn a mask. I was politely challenged once in a clothing store and I did declare myself exempt. All subsequent challenges were in “health care settings” – ain’t that an oxymoronic use of words – and once or twice I declared an exemption. And then I did some thinking. The answer was sod any exemption, I’m not wearing a bloody mask. My logic was that using the exemption get- out was in a way complying.

By God did I have some stand-offs and the worst were hospitals. Anyway I just thought bollox, I’m not backing down. I didn’t and got my way. Actually on a few occasions I challenged staff – “are you refusing treatment because I won’t wear a mask?” And thereafter I refused the mask excuse and just baldly stated ‘I don’t wear masks.’

Firkers!

To the author of this piece:

Many thanks for a heart rending article and a tip o’ the hat to your brave stepson. Good lad.

Last edited 2 years ago by huxleypiggles
23
0
Rowan
Rowan
2 years ago
Reply to  huxleypiggles

You are made of the right stuff and like you I never wore a mask on any occasion during the whole of the Covid fiasco. I was only challenged on one occasion, and that was by a woman in the local park cafe, who was both visored and muzzled. I told her to mind her own business and get on with making the coffee, which she duly did.

Last edited 2 years ago by Rowan
7
0
RTSC
RTSC
2 years ago

My younger son (now 31) has a mild stammer. It never held him back …. he too is handsome, sporty, clever and has a very successful career.

The country (the Governing Class and most of the brainwashed population) don’t care about Arthur ….. but you and your family obviously care a great deal. So in the long run, I’m sure he’ll be fine.

We in the Control Group are rooting for him.

23
0
BurlingtonBertie
BurlingtonBertie
2 years ago

I cannot forgive my professional body, which annually has a week of ‘Giving voice’ to highlight communication difficulties faced by a large number of our fellow citizens.
The Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists did absolutely naff all to stand up to the muzzle zealots.
It was predictable to so many without any training that muzzles impaired communication, yet the RCSLT chose to support the narrative.
I’m pretty much a lone voice in my profession.
Bravo Arthur & family.

33
0
Epi
Epi
2 years ago

Poor lad. Still they do say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Hopefully your stepson is made of tough stuff and this has made him tougher. These people are just bullies – come the revolution……

15
0
Michael Staples
Michael Staples
2 years ago

My daughter-in-law had to take our grandson to the local A&E with a small injury. They have reimposed the mask mandate and have worn the rag for several hours on a hot day, she felt faint and had to go outside to recover. Do not NHS staff suffer having to wear these useless rags all the time? Or are they so imbued with the protective nonsense that they wear them with the pleasure of doing the right thing?

10
0
RW
RW
2 years ago
Reply to  Michael Staples

The stupid ones suffer silently because they believe this helps others. The not stupid ones just suffer, probably fumingly. In any case, it’s abuse. That stupid/ gullible people can be fooled into harming themselves doesn’t make it right.

5
0
debra
debra
2 years ago

The short answer is no, you absolutely can not forgive them – the utter swine are beneath our contempt.

22
0
huxleypiggles
huxleypiggles
2 years ago
Reply to  debra

Never forget, never forgive.

19
0

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