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And Finally…

by Will Jones
3 February 2022 12:00 AM

Jonny Smith, co-writer of the acclaimed lockdown musical Scotch Egg, got in touch after listening to the most recent episode of London Calling and hearing the title of the closing number come up in conversation. He thought the lyrics might amuse Daily Sceptic readers, and I agree – they’re very funny.

Scotch Egg, you may recall, is a new musical set in the future, looking back at the Government’s handling of the pandemic and starring Boris Johnson and a rapping Chris Whitty – it sounds hilarious fun.

Jonny writes:

I was catching up on the excellent London Calling podcast yesterday and chuckled at James’s comment: “Well, Tobes, you can’t be too careful, after all.” This happens to be the title of the final song in our show, Scotch Egg and I thought you might enjoy seeing the lyrics (below). The show has got some great reviews and a real buzz going. We are in talks with larger theatres – latest reviews and pics on website.

“You Can’t Be Too Careful” – from “Scotch Egg – the musical”

I haven’t crossed a single city street,
Not since April nineteen ninety-three
Coz statistics truly frighten me 
You can’t be too careful after all

Going outside is quite a thriller
A country walk? I’d reconsider 
Coz nature is a serial killer  
And you can’t be too careful after all

CHORUS
You can’t be too careful 
You can’t be too careful 
Oh you can’t be too careful after all, not at all  
Oh you can’t be too careful  
You can’t be too careful
You can’t be too careful after all 
Mind the gap, watch your step, stay in bed, safety first, mind your head, walk this way, catch your sneeze, wash your hands 

Water’s clearly so dangerous 
A lifejacket really is a total must  
I wear mine while sitting on the bus  
You can’t be too careful after all

CHORUS
You can’t be too careful 
You can’t be too careful 
Oh you cant’ be too careful after all, not at all  
Oh you can’t be too careful  
You can’t be too careful
You can’t be too careful after all 
Mind the gap, watch your step, stay in bed, safety first, mind your head, walk this way, catch your sneeze, wash your hands 

I wear a mask! 
It’s a rigorous, effective thing,
Despite the fact it’s a quarter of a nappy
Tied up with a piece of string

(grandly, portentously)
I’m avoiding all humanity 
Especially all my friends and family 
It’s for the good of all society
And you can’t be too careful after all!

Listen to “You Can’t Be Too Careful” from the opening night.
Tags: HumourMusicScotch EggTheatre

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14 Comments
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Aleajactaest
Aleajactaest
3 years ago

Talking of Whitless….

Kinda gone quiet…….

In a non-extradition country…..?

Last edited 3 years ago by Aleajactaest
9
0
DodosArentDead
DodosArentDead
3 years ago

Walk (off) the plank(s)

FKhDIN1UUAEJ_kb.jpg
14
0
Susan
Susan
3 years ago

Gilbert and Sullivan it ain’t. The clever and the catchy are things of the past. Sigh.
Kudos for trying, though.

5
0
Arum
Arum
3 years ago
Reply to  Susan

“In matters psychological and messaging subliminal I am the very model of the Covid Marshal General” (exit Covid Marshal General stage left, followed by chorus of nurses and skateboarding policemen)

12
0
Boomer Bloke
Boomer Bloke
3 years ago
Reply to  Arum

Where’s The Lord High Executioner when you need one, after a Trial by Jury of course.

1
0
John Dee
John Dee
3 years ago
Reply to  Susan

You beat me to it, but that is a very high bar to set. Incomparably gifted duo.

1
0
Lockdown Sceptic
Lockdown Sceptic
3 years ago

Fauci Knew About Virus Lab Origin From Secret Teleconference, Pushed Alternate Narrative: Jeff Carlson and Hans Mahncke   
https://www.theepochtimes.com/fauci-knew-about-virus-lab-origin-from-secret-teleconference-pushed-alternate-narrative-jeff-carlson-and-hans-mahncke_4249218.html?utm_source=uschinanoe&utm_campaign=uschina-2022-02-02&utm_medium=email&est=B%2B7Krl8CwGvgArOLWzPzbZ82A%2FUJXdUK6mReoLH00Mu3x7FUTTO%2BQrX7VcOQSg7TGSIK
By Katabella Roberts

We need far more people at all our events here  
 if we want the tyranny to end for good 

Thursday 3rd February 5pm 
Silent lighted walk behind one simple sign
“No More Lockdown” 
Bring torches, candles and other lights  
Meet Corner of High Street & Pound Lane 
Marlow SL7 1NF

Stand in the Park Sundays 10am  make friends, ignore the madness & keep sane 
Wokingham Howard Palmer Gardens Cockpit Path car park Sturges Rd RG40 2HD  
Henley Mills Meadows (at the bandstand) Henley-on-Thames RG9 1DS

Telegram Group 
http://t.me/astandintheparkbracknell

Last edited 3 years ago by Lockdown Sceptic
7
0
Lockdown Sceptic
Lockdown Sceptic
3 years ago

Was the COVID Lab Leak Covered Up to Avoid a War?

This latest evidence suggesting that SARS-CoV-2 did indeed originate from the Wuhan lab raises other interesting questions, such as why Fauci and Collins immediately suppressed the theory. Did they fear then-president Trump might use the evidence to start a war with China?
https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2022/02/03/genocidal-ramifications-covid-conspiracy.aspx?ui=1fb065e0c4152b58bd4ed94cf29c7cbfad40307fb723460ddabacd55f3c58b0c&sd=20210518&cid_source=dnl&cid_medium=email&cid_content=art1HL&cid=20220203_HL2&mid=DM1098263&rid=1397237558
The Genocidal Ramifications of the Criminal COVID Conspiracy
Analysis by Dr. Joseph Mercola

We need far more people at all our events here  
 if we want the tyranny to end for good 

Thursday 3rd February 5pm 
Silent lighted walk behind one simple sign
“No More Lockdown” 
Bring torches, candles and other lights  
Meet Corner of High Street & Pound Lane 
Marlow SL7 1NF

Stand in the Park Sundays 10am  make friends, ignore the madness & keep sane 
Wokingham Howard Palmer Gardens Cockpit Path car park Sturges Rd RG40 2HD  
Henley Mills Meadows (at the bandstand) Henley-on-Thames RG9 1DS

Telegram Group 
http://t.me/astandintheparkbracknell

5
0
cloud6
cloud6
3 years ago

Really !!!

Nicola Sturgeon takes a saw to classroom doors in ‘crackpot’ DIY effort to stop Covid in schools (telegraph.co.uk)

Further proof that the lunatics are running the asylum.

3
0
HelenaHancart
HelenaHancart
3 years ago
Reply to  cloud6

Why not just take the doors off. Be cheaper.

3
0
John Dee
John Dee
3 years ago
Reply to  HelenaHancart

With Westminster footing the bill, why would Krankie care?

2
0
Milo
Milo
3 years ago
Reply to  cloud6

This was on GB News last night – 2000 doors to be sawed – is the aim now to freeze kids to death in the classroom if they can’t jab them

Seriously????

Last time I was in Glasgow the biting wind would have shorn a body in two. This is nothing short of child cruelty. Where is Save the Children?

0
0
Teddy Edward
Teddy Edward
3 years ago

No remotely humourous non of it is.Lets call the Holohoax part Deux on Ice and have released in time for Xmas day just after Billy Smarts circus and the Lizards speech.

1
0
watersider
watersider
3 years ago
Reply to  Teddy Edward

Well Will you started it – so here is an alternative offering from north of Hadrian’s Wall.

BA BA

Resist defy do not comply
With the new world order,
They demand your soul complete control
With no regard for border;
Hung out to dry you must comply
With being marked and jabbed and muzzled,
If you object to this project
You leave your masters puzzled.

Rules for thee but not for me
Says Soros Gates and Schwab,
You’ll own nothing and be happy
With the green new dealing blob;
Build back better made you a debtor
As fiat pennies fall from heaven,
Watch the old succumb to cold
As he clock ticks past eleven.

Stay at home is a palindrome
For the bought and paid for media,
You will not find an enquiring mind
Without a case of anaphia;
The poor old sheep are all asleep
As the wolves disguised as shepherds,
Herd them into shearing sheds
Where the unjabbed are now lepers.

0
0

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