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“I’ve Had It”: JP Morgan Boss Rails Against Gen Z in Expletive-Laden Outburst

by Will Jones
15 February 2025 3:00 PM

The boss of JP Morgan, Jamie Dimon, has railed against Gen Z employees who work from home and “bulls**t” bureaucracy at the investment bank in a leaked recording. The Telegraph has the story.

In a rant to the Wall Street giant’s staff, Jamie Dimon complained of slow decision-making, phone calls going unanswered and younger recruits who were being “left behind” because of the shift to remote working.

He criticised “zoomers” – a term for people born between the late 1990s and early 2010s – for spending all their time on the video app Zoom instead of physical offices.

Mr Dimon said: “Don’t give me this s— that work-from-home Friday works.

“I call a lot of people on Fridays, and there’s not a goddamn person you can get a hold of.

“I’ve had it with this kind of stuff.”

The expletive-laden outburst, revealed in an audio recording obtained by Barron’s, followed grumbling by JP Morgan employees about an order to return to the office five days a week.

It underlines tensions between executives and their underlings at major companies as bosses take a tougher approach to remote working arrangements that were originally introduced during the Covid pandemic.

Mr Dimon told JP Morgan staff that he had concerns about the “damage” working from home was doing to young recruits who needed training up, and on company culture.

But he also accused managers of failing to keep the practice under control and of abusing the privilege to slack off.

He said: “There is no chance that I will leave it up to managers. Zero chance. The abuse that took place is extraordinary.

“A lot of you were on the f—— Zoom… and you were doing the following: looking at your mail, sending texts to each other about what an a—— the other person is, not paying attention, not reading your stuff. And if you don’t think that slows down efficiency, creativity, creates rudeness – it does.

“When I found out that people were doing that – you don’t do that in my goddamn meetings.

“If you’re going to meet with me, you’ve got my attention, you’ve got my focus. I don’t bring my goddamn phone, I’m not sending texts to people. It simply doesn’t work. It doesn’t work for creativity. It slows down decision-making.”

Mr Dimon added that employees who did not want to come to the office should quit.

He said: “I will not be responsible for a company like that, okay?

“You don’t have to work at JP Morgan. So the people of you who don’t want to work at the company, that’s fine with me.

“I’m not mad at you, don’t be mad at me. It’s a free country, you can walk with your feet. But this company is going to set our own standards and do it our own way.

“I’ve had it with this kind of stuff. I’ve been working seven days a goddamn week since Covid, and I come in, and where is everybody else?

“They’re here, they’re there, the Zooms, and the zoomers don’t show up… That’s not how you run a great company.”

He dismissed a staff petition objecting to the new requirement for office attendance, arguing that the bank had always been clear they would return eventually and that it was tough luck for people who had moved home to live further away.

Mr Dimon said: “I don’t care how many people sign that f—— petition.”

Worth reading in full.

Tags: BureaucracyGen ZJamie DimonWFHWoke GobbledegookWork from home

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39 Comments
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transmissionofflame
transmissionofflame
1 year ago

Methinks there’s an agenda to emphasise nurture over nature because reasons.

71
0
DHJ
DHJ
1 year ago
Reply to  transmissionofflame

Diminish the significance of the parents, let the State raise the kids. A recurrent theme of the Scottish Government.

69
0
transmissionofflame
transmissionofflame
1 year ago
Reply to  DHJ

Indeed – and many others.

26
0
RW
RW
1 year ago
Reply to  transmissionofflame

Obviously. It’s supposed to support the origin-of-xen¹ theory of the so-called progressive left which basically states that humans are not animals but something made of featureless clay which can be formed in whatever way someone desires to form it. Unsurprisingly, they’re again repurposing well-known Christian myths here.

¹ Politically correct way to refer to hairless and sexless hindleg-walking creatures killing the planet by burning stuff said to have brains capable of independent thought despite no evidence for this could be found so far.

13
0
Marcus Aurelius knew
Marcus Aurelius knew
1 year ago
Reply to  transmissionofflame

“Reject your parents, they are of a world now dead.”

14
0
transmissionofflame
transmissionofflame
1 year ago
Reply to  Marcus Aurelius knew

I’m an ignoramus – who said that?

3
0
Dinger64
Dinger64
1 year ago

“Not like their parents”
Mine are from a different fecking dimension !

20
0
alfarom
alfarom
1 year ago

What would you expect from the Times these days. They parted company from reality sometime ago.

29
0
Grahamb
Grahamb
1 year ago

$cience TM.

6
0
TheGreenAcres
TheGreenAcres
1 year ago

Sounds like a low quality study interpreted by low IQ ‘journalists’ looking for a headline. What a time to be alive!

20
0
godknowsimgood
godknowsimgood
1 year ago

Men are women.

Girls are boys.

Ineffective vaccines are effective.

Unsafe vaccines are safe.

Global warming = our heating bills are far higher than ever.

Children are more like their parents than we thought = children are less like their parents than we thought.

War is peace.

Freedom is slavery.

Ignorance is strength.

“Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’
I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

32
0
Marcus Aurelius knew
Marcus Aurelius knew
1 year ago
Reply to  godknowsimgood

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”

“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master——that’s all.”

23
0
huxleypiggles
huxleypiggles
1 year ago
Reply to  Marcus Aurelius knew

“In the end the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it. It was inevitable that they should make that claim sooner or later: the logic of their position demanded it. Not merely the validity of experience, but the very existence of external reality was tacitly denied by their philosophy.”

Is this not precisely what the transgender hullabaloo is all about?

A man can be a woman.

A woman can be a man.

Last edited 1 year ago by huxleypiggles
16
0

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