Five Reasons to Be Cheerful

1. Big state socialism has always failed and will always fail (see recent Conservative governments)

There is no possibility that Chief Tool Starmer will succeed in improving anything, because socialism only leads to ruination. Perhaps this is not the most obvious ‘reason to be cheerful’ but in fact it will inevitably lead to a swift hankering for a Right-leaning government. There is only so much uncollected litter – and Lisa Nandy – that people will be able to take.

2. The American election in November

Just think of the memes coming our way.

3. The Right has a growing control of the comms

As all fighters know, the first target to seize after invasion is the radio station. There are now hundreds of figurative radio stations and a successful and growing number are Right-leaning: Unherd, Daily Sceptic, Triggernometry, GB News and all the lads on X. Under the last Labour Government we only had theTelegraph and Spectator to half-heartedly fight the good fight. Now, we are legion.

4. Greggs sausage rolls are still available and will always be delicious

The Labour Government can’t take that away from us yet.

5. The Labour Cabinet

A crew of midwits, dimwits and out-and-out hostile actors. Like the cast of an amateur dramatic production, we can almost predict who is going to be the first to fall off the stage, flounce off in a strop or let the whole show down. “Who was that bloke,” my husband asked earlier, “You know that roly-poly one who kept putting his secretary across the desk and punching people?” John Prescott, I suggested. “That’s the fellow. Decent chap.” It was a reminder that Labour are just as capable as the Conservatives at embarrassing themselves and their country. It is unthinkable that Lammy, Rayner, Streeting or the improbable Transport Secretary (look her up and despair), etc., will be able to govern without making some catastrophic balls up.

Joanna Gray is a writer and confidence mentor.