Selling the Crown Jewels and seeing how many policemen can get on a motorbike have headlined previous forays in these pages into the parallel universe of Rejected Petitions to the U.K. Parliament. With all current petitions being due to be closed on May 30th until after the forthcoming General Election, it seemed like an appropriate time to take another dive to see what gems could be found.
Most proposals for petitions are reasonable and fail solely because there is already a petition on that issue to which the hopeful petitioner is directed. Thus, there is usually a rash of proposals about things that are perennially of general concern, such as the availability of tobacco products to children, potholes on major roads and the closure of health service facilities. Legalisation of cannabis is also a popular rejected petition. Another theme is for particular people to be honoured or stripped of honours, and the hopeful petitioners are reminded that this is a matter for the Honours Committee and not, directly, a matter for Parliament.
Rejected petitions also reflect the times more immediately, such as attempts to raise petitions to hold a General Election (a matter purely for the sitting Prime Minister), stopping the fining of families who take their children on vacation during term time (a matter for schools and local educational authorities) and calls for the Football Association not to stop holding FA Cup replays (a matter for the FA alone to decide). All of these were the subject of numerous rejected petitions along with proposals either to legalise or ban e-scooters (petitions already exist) and to make it illegal to tamper with the design of the flag of St. George (remarkably, not under the purview of the U.K. Parliament).
And then the gems. Behind many of these it is possible to sense anger, impulse and humour. This is evident in the speed with which many have been typed, with scant regard to capitalisation, spacing or punctuation. Some of the hopeful petitioners were clearly lexicographically challenged, and all the titles are reproduced as they appeared on the Rejected Petitions website. For example, consider the proposal to “Make it a legal requirement to upload photo I’d for social media accounts uk” [sic].
You can almost sense the alcohol or fury-fuelled sentiment behind the petition to “Get rishi sunak out of office”. Naturally, such ad hominem attempts to raise petitions fail on the basis that they are “about honours or appointments”, and petitions also fail if they include “calling for Ministers to be sacked or for a vote of no confidence”. Election fever had clearly not gripped one hopeful petitioner, who resurrected an old Rejected Petitions chestnut to “Put ‘None of the above’ on all General Election ballot forms” which continues to be rejected because there is an existing petition on the same issue.
Remarkably few rejected petitions are overtly political, but one exception was the suggestion to “vote for Independent Aberdeenshire. From. Scotland,but not United Kingdom” [sic]. This seemed like a poorly structured cry from the heart from a fellow Aberdonian who had suffered enough under the reign of trans-terror and restrictions on free speech by the SNP. It was rejected on the grounds that “It requests action at a local level”. Also, from north of the border, but with ‘Scottish’ misspelt, was the very strange request to “Add Scotttish Gaelic as a supported languages on digital game fronts”. This rather niche request was rejected as it is not something that is the responsibility of the U.K. Parliament.
Not all petitions are negative and there were a few requests – all rejected naturally – to honour various people. From someone clearly unable to see through the doom laden rhetoric of the elder statesman of modern Malthusianism, came the suggestion that we “Put David Attenborough on a bank note”. The petitioner did not say whether this was to be effected before or after his death. “Make David Tennant a lord” was the subject of another rejected petition, and I so wanted the response to be that he could not be made a lord because he was already a Time Lord… but it wasn’t.
One we could all have got behind, had it been permitted, was the suggestion to “Give Mr. Alan Bates (from the Post Office) a Knighthood”. It was touching how the hopeful petitioner felt the need to ensure that the person reading the request knew that Mr. Bates was “from the Post Office” despite the fact that his long-standing departure from said Post Office was what gave rise to his fame.
Some requests are remarkably vague, such as the one which simply said “Build a Primark”. Delving a bit deeper into this compounded the vagueness, as it was to be built “Next to lidal, So I don’t have to travel a long way away” [sic]. Unfortunately, which ‘lidal’ was not specified. Had the missing details been provided, it is quite possible that this petition would not have been rejected. Who knows?
Some petitioners really lack the knack of writing concise and memorable titles for their requests, such as “We would like to be able to get to go in the gymnasium in the allander” which, on reading, seemed like a perfectly reasonable topic as it was about the physical and mental health of young people. Nevertheless, it was rejected.
My guess is a Tottenham fan requested we “Get rid of Arsenal FC as a football team” and someone, possibly a vertically challenged petitioner, had clearly had their hopes of becoming a model dashed in requesting that we “Remove height restrictions in modelling agency’s” [sic]. The U.K. Government Petitions website is just the place for the terminally disaffected to vent their feelings. The mental health benefits of such a service cannot be underestimated.
The rejected petitions website is not only amusing, it is educational. The request to “Ban the production and sale of blue swimwear for babies and children” highlighted a concern, for which a petition already exists, about the purported danger to babies and children of wearing blue swimwear, which allegedly makes them invisible in the water, making it harder to see them if they get into trouble. I had no idea that this was considered a problem, but it is.
Parliament should be exhorted to “Make it legal for drivers to report a collision with a cat”. Apart from wondering how large a cat must be to be ‘collided’ with, as opposed simply to being run over, presumably the petitioner meant that it should become a ‘legal requirement’ to report squishing a tabby if you were the driver of the car that squished it. This is clearly not a new concern as a petition already exists on the same topic.
It is hard to make sense of what the petitioner was asking in proposing a petition on “Telephone masts bullying our famers making them take 95% cut”. And that was precisely the conclusion of the civil servant responding, who rejected the petition.
I couldn’t end without reference to one request which pulled at my heartstrings. I imagined some young lad in an area far from the green belt or sports facilities whose request was “I would like a small football pitch made near my house to play with my friends”. Bless!
Finally, the mystery of Belinda the cat can be solved by checking the request to “Let Belinda the cat back in Tesco”.
Dr. Roger Watson is Academic Dean of Nursing at Southwest Medical University, China. He has a PhD in biochemistry. He writes in a personal capacity.
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What massacre that will be remembered in infamy and shame happened in Gaza yesterday but is absent in this news roundup, I wonder?
I’m sure George Galloway will draw your attention to it. Congratulations, George.
“Police must stop ‘intimidatory’ protests against MPs as threat level rises: Rishi Sunak”
Two great commentaries on this yesterday.
One from Owen Jones: https://youtu.be/wH0XV-ucBmc
One from Neil Oliver: https://youtu.be/hDJ-IqZc628
Sorry, wrong OJ link, he did two yesterday: https://youtu.be/U0EghA4hjXA
Let’s give it the infamous name it’ll be known by – the Flour Massacre.
https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2024/03/01/fppq-m01.html
Crikey, it’s Galloway. Mental. ( 2mins )
https://twitter.com/blazey2004/status/1763398420650221638
Note that the majority didn’t vote at all, so he acquired his majority from the minority – a bit like most local government elections in the UK. Goes to show what you can end up with if you don’t vote.
It is what happens when newer parties are suppressed. The results at future general elections might bring forth much worse people than Galloway and in numbers.
Well this guy was 100% prescient, I mean, didn’t see this coming did we..? <sarc>
”There was no massacre of Palestinians in Gaza today.
You’ll be hearing that there was. It’s propaganda. Palestinians trampled each other as they fought for the aid that the IDF sent in knowing that Hamas was going to steal it like they have stolen all aid.
Hundreds of Palestinians were trampled to death and many others injured.
In parallel, a Palestinian mob tried to attack IDF forces who proceeded to shoot warning shots in the air and when the mob didn’t stop, the IDF fired at their legs.
As I said, no massacre in Gaza. When the propaganda starts populating your feeds, just know that it is 100% false.
You’ll be hearing about this fabricated massacre across all mainstream media in 3…2…
Here is footage of the Palestinian mob trying to steal aid and trampling each other.
Don’t believe the lies that are being fed to the media directly from Hamas.”
https://twitter.com/HilzFuld/status/1763190132771864606
Excellent work, fear that you are wasting your time with the jew haters mind.
Massacre reported by Hamas. Well, that is an area of expertise for them, sure.
Oh I’m not trying to convince anyone or change minds, least of all their’s. I am, however, happy to always call out disgraceful human beings that have a disgusting attitude though. Which is what anybody supporting terrorism and sympathising with rapists is, in my book, and I in no way think that’s a radical viewpoint. And as you’ve probably gleaned, I’m also not here for the ‘likes’.
Carbon Passports Surveillance Dystopia – latest leaflet to print at home and deliver to neighbours or forward to politicians, media, friends online.
“The most terrifying thing about Putin is not that he’s delusional, but that he might be right”
If you want an alternative view, the Global times comment is here;
https://www.globaltimes.cn/page/202402/1307941.shtml
I am no advocate for the Global Times but I always think it does give a feel for the the view of world affairs that is being put out to a large section of the world’s population.
The most terrifying thing about Putin is not that he’s delusional, but that he might be right
Of course he’s right.
What will Europe do when, by incorporating Ukraine, Moldova into the Russian ‘Union State’ which already includes Belarus, Putin encircles the Baltic States?
You’re already looking at it………
As a consequence, in due course, in response to such a Russian ‘Union State’ with Baltic States encircled and subverted, Germany, under a government of an entirely different complexion (and Poland), may very well decide to acquire nuclear weapons.
To every action, there is a reaction……
Quite so. We talk with leaders of many states we do not approve off. We should have been talking to Putin years ago, rather than thinking in our ignorance all we were engaging in was Cold War II.
Similarly Assad. The last secular state in the Middle East. The “Civil” war no such thing, rather his constant war with terrorists. Indeed, his father’s notorious massacre in Homs involved wiping out a Muslim Brotherhood enclave there. As anyone who has investigated the MB, they are the fons origo of Islamic terrorism. Wiping them out in your country – well,hell, shit happens when you are terrorists.
The West has been funding and supporting terrorists in Syria. Before 2011, its GDP was growing faster than our, and they had a growing middle class. Assad very popular. How do I know? My stepdaughter lived in Damascus with Syrian families for six months before the problems. It would have been in OUR best interest to side with Assad, not go for him. Not to mention all those people, such as the shitshow Obama, who were going to deal with him… all gone. Assad ain’t.
And that “gassing” accusation. Do some research. It’s all out there. Not to mention that the only chlorine factory IN Syria was in the hands of the revels.
In my view, the real problem with Putin began with Kosovo and the humiliation of the Russians, particularly those lunatics who took control of Pristina airport, pointless because it would have been impossible to transfer a Russian division and even a battalion by air to Pristina since Yugoslavia was surrounded from all sides by NATO countries; total air supremacy of NATO aviation.
The Clinton/Blair Kosovo idiocy (a deal could and should have resulted from Rambouillet) set a precedent, which, as I and many others pointed out at the time, would come back and bite the West in the backside, as it has now on three separate occasions.
With regard to Assad, it is difficult, I think, to argue that he has governed Syria in the best interests of all the Syrian people. Of course he has his supporters.
Regarding chemical weapons, here’s the research:
‘3……..On the basis of all the information obtained and its analysis, the (Investigation and Identification Team) IIT concludes that there are reasonable grounds to believe that, between 19:10 and 19:40 (UTC+3) on 7 April 2018, during a major military offensive aimed at regaining control of the city of Douma, at least one Mi-8/17 helicopter of the Syrian Arab Air Force, departing from Dumayr airbase and operating under the control of the Tiger Forces, dropped two yellow cylinders which hit two residential buildings in a central area of the city.
4. At Location 2,1 the cylinder hit the rooftop floor of a three-storey residential building without fully penetrating it, ruptured, and rapidly released toxic gas—chlorine—in very high concentrations, which rapidly dispersed within the building, killing 43 named individuals and affecting dozens more.
5. At Location 4,1 the cylinder hit the roof of a three-storey residential building (at the time uninhabited), and broke into the apartment below. The cylinder ruptured only partially, and started to slowly release chlorine, mildly affecting those who first arrived at the scene.
6. The IIT reached its conclusions on the basis of the degree of certainty of “reasonable grounds”, which is the standard of proof consistently adopted by international fact-finding bodies and commissions of inquiry…..’
https://www.opcw.org/sites/default/files/documents/2023/01/s-2125-2023%28e%29.pdf
‘Videos of barrel bomb remnants found after the attacks on Keferzita on April 11 and 18 and the attack on Telmans on April 21 show yellow cylinders or canisters together with remnants of barrel bombs. The canisters contain markings with the code “CL2” – the symbol for chlorine gas – and “NORINCO,” indicating that the cylinders were manufactured in China by the state-owned company NORINCO. Yellow is the standard industrial gas color code for chlorine.’
https://www.hrw.org/news/2014/05/13/syria-strong-evidence-government-used-chemicals-weapon
Read Hitchens, P, passim on the gas attacks and fraudulent behaviour by OPCW
https://www.startpage.com/do/search?q=HITCHENS+SYRIA+GAS+OPCD&segment=startpage.brave
“international fact-finding bodies and commissions of inquiry…..’”
Sadly, all international bodies are now beyond hope. The UN was set up with the best of intentions; it is now a disaster, especially on Human Rights. Similarly the WHO, which did excellent work in the past, but is now a danger to us all. Their handling of Covid was as bad as can be. Maybe that China and the philanthropath Gates are their main drivers has something to do with that.
All too true.
Israel or Palestine? Let’s see how many different things we can conflate, and see how many people are dumb enough to commit their heart and soul to one teams propaganda. The mindf*ck of Covid and Russia-Ukraine – and heaven knows what else before all that – has left a few defiant stragglers, but Israel vs Palestine has bought the minds of the few who remained. What a disappointing lot we are.
About 72% of the votes in Rochdale were postal votes. Draw your own conclusions.
Speculation, but as a postal voter myself (nowhere near Rochdale) I’m familiar with it. Established parties have long encouraged known supporters to opt for it, as it usually results in them actually voting (hopefully for them). My hunch re all the recent by-elections is that the real majority don’t approve of the system at all at present, and don’t give a s**t.
Isn’t it still the case that postal votes are for those who, for health reasons etc, cannot physically get to a polling station?
No
They are available on demand. Another Blair change for the worse whiuch the Tories have not wanted to change.
And they are encouraged by organised groups, of any of the major ones with reasonable canvassing records to the effect that they are likely to vote for them. Incidentally, that would be a reason why the postal turnouts are proportionally higher than on the day turnouts at the polling station in elections with low turnouts, like the recent by-elections. When I vote on the PV, I usually do it around 10 days early, depending on the delivery by the local Council that manages it. When you are on it, you are not allowed to vote at polling stations. They are reliant on the Royal Mail to some extent as well. I guess if they on strike you can deliver by hand to the Council, but that would probably drive down the turnout if it happens.
“Downing Street has told police to list offenders, such as ‘cat killer’ murderer Scarlet Blake, as male unless they have legally changed gender, reports the Telegraph”
I thought the reason for the costly charade of Police and Crime Commissioners was to introduce a degree of public accountability into policing. And since when did “Number 10” have the power to issue decrees like the French President?
Judge Napolitano puts out an interesting vid on the Israel/Palestine situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_8_6iZlyc8
The Arab League’s statement at the ICJ case regarding the Israel/Palestine occupation. Blistering.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LACse017-A
Can’t be bothered to watch it, but one question – does it mention Hamas breach of the Geneva Convention, and the consequences of them doing so? The Arab League – well, read on…
“To quote the words of the then Secretary-General of the Arab League, Azzam Pasha, describing the war aims of the five Arab States whose armies invaded Israel the day after its birth on May 14, 1948: ‘This will be a war of extermination and a momentous massacre which will be spoken of like the Mongolian massacres and the Crusades.’ In the process of trying to achieve this terrible objective, they created the Palestinian refugee problem by telling the Arab population within Israel to leave their homes temporarily so as not to get in the way of the invaders.”
https://www.conservativewoman.co.uk/the-big-lie-about-israel-threatens-us-all/
Until Israel wipes out Hamas and its supporters – i.e. those who voted them into power, then Israel cannot be safe. As it was for Jews when we wiped out the Nazis. Hamas are Islam’s Nazis; indeed, the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, during WWII, met with Hitler to plan a Middle East Holocaust. Which is just what Hamas wants.
Let’s get real eh?
Extraordinary speech. Sadly, the US will ignore every word of it.
“News presenter Clive Myrie has said he dislikes the term ‘impartial’ and does not believe the BBC must provide balance on every topic, according to the Telegraph.”
Well they don’t anyway, so what’s Myrie on about?
Providing balance and being impartial is impossible. The only solution is to privatise/scrap the BBC and stop pretending it can be impartial.
“Founder of the Free Speech Union, Toby Young said: “Sam Melia’s conviction points to the shortcomings of the ‘stirring up’ clauses in the Public Order Act.
“Why is he guilty of ‘stirring up’ racial or religious hatred, but not George Galloway, some of whose comments about Israel and Zionism have been equally incendiary? Yet Galloway is now the MP for Rochdale, while Melia has gone to prison for two years.
“Either the law is applied consistently, without fear or favour, or it’s not fit for purpose.
“It cannot be one law for right-wing white working class men and another for left-wing politicians.”
Sam Melia: Free speech activists outraged after man jailed for two years for running ‘far-right’ stickers library (gbnews.com)
Well done, Toby Young, for courageously defending this unknown young man who has been so unjustly treated.