The famous ‘Fermi Paradox’ asks why, if life really is every bit as prevalent in the cosmos as some astrobiologists claim, with their equally famous ‘Drake Equation’ (which purports to show extraterrestrial life should be teeming just about everywhere in the universe), then where is it all?
One possible answer might be that, once all intelligent civilisations reach a certain point of advancement, they stumble across the so-called ‘Great Filter’, a developmental obstacle which simply can never be overcome, no matter what planet you are living on, which ultimately destroys the whole species in an irreversible Mass Extinction Event. This Great Filter was once often imagined to be nuclear war – now, it is increasingly deemed to be climate change, a phenomenon no cutting-edge industrial civilisation can supposedly ever escape from unscathed, on Earth or off it.
One leading advocate of this kind of doomsday thinking today is Adam Frank, a U.S. astrophysicist whose 2018 book Light of the Stars: Alien Worlds and the Fate of the Earth and many co-authored academic papers have attempted to delineate a so-called “Astrobiology of the Anthropocene”. The ‘Anthropocene’ is the proposed (and recently rejected) term many scientists want to give to the current geological era on Earth, which they say has been irrevocably impacted and influenced by mankind and his technology, namely nuclear bombs and fossil fuels.
The Misanthropocene Era
As the distinctly Malthusian Frank said in a promotional 2018 interview with Scientific American: “My argument is that Anthropocenes may be generic from an astrobiological perspective: what we’re experiencing now may be the sort of transition that everybody goes through, throughout the Universe.”
If Anthropocenes (or Alienthropocenes) are indeed “generic”, then doesn’t that mean they can potentially be modelled? Possibly so. According to Professor Frank (not to be confused with The Simpsons’ Professor Frink), “a civilisation, to some degree, is just a mechanism for transforming energy on a planetary surface”, a statement so utterly reductive in its nature it really ought to be the governing motto of the UN or EU these days.
Being something of a UFO buff myself, I have long been of the personal opinion that any actual aliens mankind should ever encounter will most likely turn out to be totally, well, alien in their nature, so much so we might not even be able to recognise them as being actual animate life-forms at all, a bit like most normal people feel when looking at Rachel Reeves. Professor Frank, though, disagrees, being apparently so in thrall to the currently dominant technocratic myth of Homo Statisticus (have you ever met anyone with 2.4 actual children?) that he feels it plausible to extend its basic pattern out across the entire Universe:
Well, just as we understand planetary climates pretty well, we can use the basic, fundamental tenets of life to guide us, too. Organisms are born, some of them reproduce, and they die. Living things consume energy and they excrete waste. That should be true even if they’re made of silicon or whatever. The next step is to incorporate principles of population biology, in which the idea of ‘carrying capacity’ — the number of organisms that can be sustainably supported by the local environment — is very important. This approach can also be mathematically applied to the state of a planet. So in our modelling work we’ve got an equation for how the planet is changing and an equation for how the population is changing. What ties them together is the predictable result that as environmental conditions on a planet get worse, the total carrying capacity goes down. A civilisation with a population of n will use the resources of its planet to increase n, but at the same time, by using those resources, it tends to degrade the planet’s environment.
But what if some aliens are incorporeal in nature, being made of gases, for instance? What if they therefore don’t actually need to eat or excrete at all? What if some of them are made from – or perhaps breathe – CO2? Or what if they are extremophiles (i.e., lovers of extreme climates) and therefore very high temperatures are actually good for some ETs’ health, not bad for it? Wouldn’t climate change akin to the kind Frank currently warns is taking place here on Earth make them thrive? Plus, what atmospheric gases will there even be to be boosted or dissipated by hypothetical industrial activity on other planets in the first place? Global warming may not even be chemically possible on Planet Fictional at all. These objections are all pretty obvious, and I do hope Professor Frank addresses them in his actual book (which I haven’t read), because if he hasn’t, it may be in danger of being interpreted by the ungenerous-minded as a work of mere sci-fi with numbers in it.
From Drake Equation to Fake Equation?
Speaking of numbers, as Frank and his co-researchers claim to have produced climate-models for generic other planets which do not even actually exist, where have they got the necessary data to fill them up with? It must be pretty detailed data because, look, Frank has somehow managed to create modelling graphs for the four presumed most likely scenarios for any planet’s long-term sustainability or civilisational collapse path, once intelligent life eventually appears on it:
Red line: co-evolving made-up trajectory of made-up planet’s made-up environmental state (a proxy for its made-up temperature, says Professor Frank)
The first model-graph, labelled ‘Die-Off’, is the one which currently appears to apply to doomed old Planet Earth, at least in the view of Frank. According to Commander Data, talking in another 2018 promotional interview with LiveScience:
In this scenario, the civilisation’s population skyrockets over a short period of time, and as the aliens guzzle energy and belch out greenhouse gases, the planet’s temperature spikes, too. (In this study, temperature was used to represent human-made impacts on the planet’s habitability via greenhouse gas pollution.) The population peaks, then suddenly plummets as rising temperatures make survival harder and harder. The population eventually levels off, but with a fraction of the people who were around before. Imagine if seven out of 10 people you knew died quickly. It’s not clear a complex technological civilisation could survive that kind of change.
It probably could if they were all just civil servants.
Chatting SHIT?
Elsewhere, I have developed an innovative but speculative data-based concept of my own that I sincerely hope one day takes off. It is known by the acronym SHIT – or Statistics Having Imaginary Truth, and I coined it to denote the way most economists appear to just make up their forecasts and predictions out of thin air, producing ‘authoritative’ figures from nowhere like fiscal rabbits from a monetary hat. I write this present piece in the days immediately following Jeremy Hunt’s latest budget, by the way.
Although I tend to accept Earth is getting somewhat warmer these days (albeit nowhere near enough to destroy all human life upon it, or whatever Al Gore is currently standing naked in the street and yelling out loud to gullible passersby), I am nonetheless becoming increasingly inclined to consider long-term climate forecasts for our planet as increasingly becoming a complete and utter shower of SHIT likewise. If so, then how much more SHITtier must data-based climate models for other planets – planets which, I here repeat once again, and in italics for extra emphasis this time, do not even exist – be?
A further question must also be asked: where precisely did Frank get the data for the models and graphs reproduced in his 2018 book and articles from, exactly? According to what he said in his interviews, it was from prior studies made of Easter Island/Rapa Nui, the now-lifeless barren ocean island where, once upon a time, or so the standard promulgated narrative goes, foolish humans lived sustainably and well until, in a short-sighted fit of greed, they stupidly chopped down all the place’s trees, causing a drought and then being left with neither wood for fuel nor tasty arboreal produce to eat any more, thus dying off en masse. But was this really true?
Easter Egg-stinction Event
According to Professor Frank and his colleagues:
Easter Island presents a particularly useful example for our own purposes since it is often taken as a lesson for global sustainability. Many studies indicate that Easter Island’s inhabitants depleted their resources, leading to starvation and termination of the island’s civilisation.
Except that, “many studies” of another kind say this isn’t what actually happened there at all; in the opinion of some revisionist modern scholars, the standard story of Easter Island’s downfall and depopulation is actually a modern-day green myth designed to promulgate a cautionary warning about what will happen to modern-day industrialised Western civilisations if, like the imprudent old Easter Islanders, we too are rash enough to use up all our resources, destroy our local environment or help bring about acts of needless climate change.
The key 2021 paper purporting to demonstrate that this now famous old popular narrative is indeed just a myth contains much data and many graphs of a technical nature which, as far as this mere layman knows, may one day turn out to be just so much SHIT too. However, if the Easter Island Extinction narrative really was just an overblown environmentalist fable created to groom Greta Thunberg into existence, it would appear that the primary data Professor Frank says he and his colleagues based his models of shared off-Earth exoplanetary collapse on in his 2018 book were pure SHIT themselves, were they not?
There Is No Planet B
If Frank’s book was just marketed as a fun hypothetical thought-exercise, then I would find it wholly unobjectionable – it’s good for scientists to be free-thinkers. But he appears to have been promoting it as a spur to persuading politicians to implement actual real-world ‘climate-friendly’ policy objectives, and then being treated seriously in this aim by the mainstream scientific press. Therefore, you do have to ask: are such pop-science studies as Frank’s 2018 book, being aimed primarily at a lay-audience who probably know no better, really intended to function more as green-friendly political agitprop than as genuine science as such?
To end his LiveScience interview, Professor Frank asks his readers a question, the answer to which is clearly supposed to be obvious:
Across cosmic space and time, you’re going to have winners — who managed to see what was going on [i.e., a self-inflicted climate crisis] and figure out a path through it — and losers, who just couldn’t get their act together and their civilisation fell by the wayside. The question is, which category do we want to be in?
The winners! The winners! I want to be on the side of the winners! Except that, if the West does indeed compliantly tear up its whole current dirty – yet conveniently cheap, reliable and efficient – energy infrastructure to save going the way of the supposed Easter Island idiots, who will the actual winners on our planet be? The Chinese, Russians and others, who will quite happily go on burning coal and oil while we shiver in abject poverty and they quite happily extend their autocratic tentacles across the globe, enabled to dominate us militarily, economically and industrially by piles and piles of dubious pseudo-scientific SHIT being promulgated by a caste of weird, West-ruling cultists who honestly expect to be taken seriously when they go around shouting mad things like “Climate change killed off all the imaginary aliens, so junk your gas-fires now or DIE IMMEDIATELY!!” to ostensibly reliable, august and disinfo-slaying outlets like Scientific American and LiveScience.
Perhaps a sinister race of non-human alien beings do indeed walk among us after all – they’re called the governing class.
Steven Tucker is a journalist and the author of over 10 books, the latest being Hitler’s & Stalin’s Misuse of Science: When Science Fiction Was Turned Into Science Fact by the Nazis and the Soviets (Pen & Sword/Frontline), which is out now.
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Just put a stop to it now because it is nothing more than a pisstake. I have been to Hull and I knew a woman from Hartlepool and she was as good as gold but her life was nasty. Coldplay is the epitome of everything that is crap about neoliberalism. This is cruel and unusual punishment.
They closed down any hope of a p ositive future and now they have to live on Universal Credit, Housing Benefit and a bit of income on the side in a town where there isn’t much money sloshing about. This is sick to put your own people through this. With all the diminution of self-esteem and civic pride that it entails. Family life impossible even when it is strongly desired. You would never do that to your country if you loved it.
You consign whole towns and cities to live on benefits and then you import cheap labour and the criminal class because they will work for peanuts. Is it really that difficult to see this situation as treachery and treason. If it is then you are too far gone and you might as well just step aside.
They took your country over in 2020 please understand this. That was the pivotal moment for them. Nothing is coming back. They call it pushing the envelope. They pushed it and you did nothing. There will still be enclaves for white people but they aill get smaller and smaller.
Money worship only ends one way. Your children are screwed and your parents are screwed and next year will look very different from any year before. Once critical mass has been reached with immigraton you aren’t coming back. Just be respectful and try to cut down on the pork and booze because these things can cause problems.
I will not change what I eat or decide to eat for any man!
Can’t think of anything worse than having to listen to Coldplay.
No mention of the great Hull band from the 1980s, the Red Guitars? Good Technology and Marimba Jive are great songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs0OkiCZNRI
Ex-Coldplay fan here. I loved all their stuff and they did some amazing tracks which will always evoke happy memories for me. However, it was a great shame when Chris and the band outed themselves as total nobtards regarding this whole climate lark. I wish bands would stay out of politics and agendas, full stop. It’s like when the Kaiser Chiefs’ Ricky went on about who’d had what death jab at one of their concerts. Another band I used to like scratched off my list, although I’ll still listen to their old stuff. It just leaves you cold and turns you right off when artists you’d long respected go on like this. They should just stick to music and quit alienating large chunks of their fanbase.
Very true….Rammstein comes to mind.
I think it’s unrealistic and unhelpful to worry about the opinions and character of people who produce art. That said, I might decide not to give them any more of my money, and not to see them in concert so I didn’t have to listen to the preaching. But yes I listen to tons of stuff I already own by people I know have very different views to me.
I can’t think of a single Coldplay song though.
Don’t forget to add Springsteen to that list, another childhood hero revealed as a total banker….
Am.i alone in seeing the irony of socialists who formerly demonised Margaret Thatcher for the deindustrialisation of Britain now doing everything in their power to choke the life out of any manufacturing industry that may be left in the country?
What isn’t clear is whether they are too stupid to understand that you can’t have competitive manufacturing without cheap energy or whether they have simply started to openly and brazenly despise the British working class.
Maybe both.
It could be worse. Let’s hope the don’t do any Oasis covers such as: “Don’t Look Back in Anger”.
Very amusing in a grim sort of way, and I agree completely, but would question only the idea that the oceans are not polluted. Not so sure about the air – seems ok to me! But yes, the rest of what Coldplay are about is undistilled crap.
The oceans are not polluted.
Unless you mean by oil which gets thrust into it in enormous quantities whenever the sea bed shakes a bit.
“and a satellite stage at each of the London shows will be powered fully “by the audience via kinetic flooring and power bikes”
The levels of blind ideological fervour necessary to pay large amounts of money for the privilege of cycling furiously or jumping up and down relentlessly (both offering up particularly hilarious sights during any ballads!) whilst trying to enjoy a concert are quite staggering.
Anyway Coldplay should have gone the full turn-back-time hog (a la windmills being reintroduced for power creation) and chosen treadmill-based generators instead;
Thus even more graphically displaying the complete debasement and enslavement of humanity demanded by the Green religion.
Shirley, they should be performing in a field, powered only by wind and sun and perhaps Ed running furiously in a hamster wheel, lit only by candles made from earwax, and dressed only in wool dyed with locally sourced nettles (The Goodlife), now that little disaster would be worth seeing….
Powered by bikes?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaeIfGWMbvg
Freddie Starr Speeded up Singing
Forget heat pumps. All the climate virtue signallers can wear masks to capture all that hot air and that can then be pumped into a hot air national grid to be piped around to peoples houses. Much like our sewage, this hot air will have to go through a filtration system to remove all the words along with the harmful self righteous sentiment. The last thing anyone wants is the faint noise of haranguing coming from the radiators, or from under the floor!