“Lockdowns were a disaster.”
“There is no climate emergency.”
“Men cannot have babies.”
If you can spot the problems with the above sentences, then you may be just the person we are looking for.
Here at the Daily Sceptic we consider ourselves at the leading edge of progressive mainstream writing and are keen to maintain our position in the field by bringing sensitivity readers into our growing team. Sensitivity readers would work with the editors to provide an independent view on all copy that we intend to publish and if necessary rewrite so as to avoid triggering anyone or making them feel unsafe.
Working under the leadership of the Senior Sensitivity Reader (to be appointed from among the pool of applicants) the remaining appointees would join the sensitivity team, aka ‘Team Snowflake’. In addition to overseeing all copy, the team would be responsible for developing untapped issues in the field of sensitivity and bringing these to the attention of the editors.
In particular, we are looking for sensitivity readers with experience in the areas of COVID-19 policy, the climate emergency and and advancing the cause of social justice. Experience in the field of transgender politics, silent prayer and the BBC would also be valued.
Potential candidates should have the following:
Essential criteria
- City and Guilds Grade 5 or above in Sensitivity Reading
- Familiarity with the aims, scope and mission of the Daily Sceptic and our sister publication the Daily Woker with which we work very closely
- Some relevant experience, e.g. rewriting heteronormative, white supremacist tracts such as Great Expectations
Desirable criteria
- Registration (or in pursuit of) with the Guild of Sensitivity Readers
- A clean electric scooter licence
Additional information
As a proud recipient of the Patrice Williams Marks Platinum Award for Inclusion, the Daily Sceptic is especially keen to hear from the following: Hispanic, Indian, African-American, Muslim, Little People and Fatties.
All employees at the Daily Sceptic are expected to undertake unconscious bias training and score 110% in the post-course assessment.
Further details of working at the Daily Sceptic including our attractive salary, profit sharing scheme and discounted vegan meal vouchers may be found at this link.
COVID-19
To work at the Daily Sceptic – even though all employees work from home – you must be fully vaccinated against COVID-19 (including the latest booster recommended for your age group) and be prepared to undergo random PCR COVID-19 testing and produce proof of vaccination on request. For further details check this link.
Application process
If you think you are the person we are looking for, we suggest you view this video to find out the kind of standards we expect.
Application forms may be downloaded here.
Closing date April 1st.
To join in with the discussion please make a donation to The Daily Sceptic.
Profanity and abuse will be removed and may lead to a permanent ban.
First Comment!
Nicely done guys!
And about time too! What took you so long?
APRIL FOOLS!
I was just remarking to my wife this morning that the humourless woke brigade have shut down April Fools Day.
Thank you DS!
Interesting the thumbs down for celebrating an April Fools Day joke.
Yes I noticed that too, he/she/they/them must have wandered onto the wrong site by mistake! Bless, ……”it’s tik tok you want my love”
Might I suggest looking up the “lockpicking lawyer” on youtube. His usual fare is exposing the flaws in commercial locks by picking them open in moments, but his April Fool videos are legendary, and based mostly on in depth innuendo. Based in the US, this years will be posted this afternoon.
Very disappointing that Section 2 of the application form only allows for Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, or Doctor. As a person proud of my fluid gender, pronouns, and intellect, I find it personally offensive that the form only allows me to select one pronoun at a time and fails to list any of the 1042.3 neo-pronouns that are in common usage in the offenderati community. I will however overlook this if you can give me a guarantee that should I be successful in this very senior and frankly obviously critical role you will provide me with a supply of full PPE including gloves and hazmat suits and that any staff members of the Daily Sceptic with whom I am required to interact will be wearing 3 masks (minimum) and will disinfect their keyboards immediately prior to any online calls and meetings at which I am present.
I identify as a fish. Some nasty people think this is odd.
And fishy?
// “Lockdowns were a disaster.”
“There is no climate emergency.”
“Men cannot have babies.”
If you can spot the problems with the above sentences, then you may be just the person we are looking for. //
I immediately spotted a host of problems with all three of these statements, but I am far too sensitive to point them out.
Love it!!!!
I have almost zero sensitivity, but my skill is to be able to diagnose a range of psychological afflictions purely by my sense of smell.
I am the only(*) practitioner in the UK who is able to detect Up-Yourself-Itus from fifty paces.
I really hope you find all the Little People and Fatties you require. However fyi, in my view Skinnies will require far fewer biscuits and their fingers are much slimmer, so much cheaper and way better for typing out weak April-fools gags.
Not too shabby though
* A spurious footnote, completely unrelated to the topic but obliquely referencing an opinion once published by someone who works for a big company who therefore sounds really convincing, despite their weak credentials
I’m happy to self declare that I meet all the criteria, and should therefore get the job. Otherwise you will be sued for self-self-discrimination.
To work at the Daily Sceptic – even though all employees work from home – you must be fully vaccinated against COVID-19
That twigged it for me – clear April Fool’s wind up. I thought all DS employees were based in Toby’s West London garden shed and had to attend every QPR home match.
To tell the truth though, I posted April Fool’s in the comments here the last couple of years, but completely forgot about it this year. Maybe adversity brings out humour.
I got it as soon as I saw the headline!
If it was April 1st, 2020 however, there was stuff going on that appeared like April Fool’s pranks, but were in fact genuine!
Oh dear, it took you that long!?
April Fool! Nah, actually saw it at the start.
Nice try from the DS Team, but April Fool pieces do have to be just a little bit plausible.
Btw, QPR lost at Wigan today. Bottom-of-the table Wigan. On a bad run of form and getting a bit uncomfortable for them. But I expect Toby knows that …
I’m personally recommending this lady for the job. I think she ticks all the boxes;
https://twitter.com/TheEyes2022/status/1609561930791878657
I have a friend who is violent, bigoted, everything-phobic and white, but he identifies as woke. Can he apply?
Please let us know how many applicants there were…
I’ve just stubbed my big toe and I can confirm that I’m VERY sensitive.
Gie’us a job please. I can do that.
Oh, I’ve just realised I don’t tick any of the diversity and inclusion boxes…..you’ve left out freckled gingers. I’m SO sensitive I’m now going to hide under the duvet all day.
You’re SO anti-Gingers! I withdraw my application.
Harry?
Welcome to titanosaur world. Offer expires at midday.
Hilarious. ————But only because it is based what is really going on in Wokeland.
Well there’s an April fools foth thee sir!
Thal light nor fire in yonder grate coss chimleys all blocked up!
There’s a world crisis emergency death spiral happening! It’s actually happening Reg! …I’m off to slash up!
April fool!
…and I mistakenly thought the previous article on “The NHS is in Crisis – So Why is it Hiring Diversity Managers on £55,000 a Year?“ was the April 1st joke
Come on guys, April Fool’s jokes generally have some sort of believability about them! There is no way in the whole universe that the DS would consider anything other than employing an ‘Insensitivity Reader’
Excellent and very funny. A small gripe. For essential requirements you say this.
City and Guilds Grade 5 or above in Sensitivity Reading
A bit late but it would have been better to use Open University, as that is an academic institute while City and Guilds is for vocational and practical learning. Sensitivity Reading is not a practical subject! All our problems have come from elevating academic thinking so that it is generally perceived to be superior to vocational and practical thinking, and that perception has been driven by the academics. I could imagine Open University, or any University having a degree course in this and there wouldn’t be low grades as that would be non-inclusive.
My Ph.D in Sensitivity Studies and my Nobel Prize for Wokeness make me the ideal candidate. Which makes me much too sensitive for actual work, so I must regretfully decline your generous offer. But have a Happy April Fool’s Day!
You must be the new Hyper-Sensitivity Reader? A vegan equivalent because getting to the meat of a subject is cruel, causes the Climate Emergency, causes AnnaPhilArctic shocks and it’s cultural appropriation because all knowledge has been stolen from Indigenous Women.
Brilliant! Done just in time, at 12:00am as well!
Dam. I was going to apply. Then I woke up.
Happy and fun April Fools day everyone!
Is it true that Nicola Sturgeon has applied?
There is indeed a “Climate Emergency” —-I opened the back door this morning and the climate blew right in and scared the dog half to death. I used to think climate change was a load of old cobblers but now I know “it is real and happening now”. Why else would my dog run all the way upstairs? I would like to see some dog data to confirm my hypothesis.
I was starting to worry until I realised the date. I may have had to apply as the necessary fatty to even out the staff levels, until I realised I might not be the only one and may have balanced the scales too heavily on our side.