If you are a parent who has just innocently sent your young children off to school in an EU member state this new autumn term, then what will they come back from class having learned? How to read, write and add up, hopefully. But also, perhaps, they will return home bearing the awesome knowledge that the European Union had generously saved them and their entire families from inevitable death in yet another of the continent’s periodic pan-continental conflicts of all-out racial genocide. And also, how to colour in all the EU member states’ flags properly without ever accidentally going outside the lines, of course.
Amongst all its innumerable other fingers in political pies, the EU today has its own special sub-department aimed at teachers and schools, pumping out learning material designed to educate children about how utterly essential the Common Agricultural Policy, the Schengen Agreement and the Lisbon Treaty are for their future economic prosperity and social wellbeing, and how they’d all be lying dead in a neo-Nazi mass war-grave without them.
According to the relevant section of the website of the Publications Office of the EU, “The EU supports its Member States in their efforts to provide high-quality and widely accessible education and training” by “facilitating exchanges of information and experience”. To this end, it has now beneficently spent EU taxpayers’ money producing a wide variety of “publications and educational games” with fascinating-sounding titles like Europe Organising Together!, EU & Me and The EU Council Explained, which are “intended to support young people and teachers in learning about the EU, its values and its policies, and about the functioning of the EU institutions, their responsibilities and their work”.
Anarchy in the Yooki
Its latest range, aimed at primary schools, is a series of colourful illustrated texts featuring a poorly-drawn cartoon firefly called Yooki. Besides appearing in some new flag-based colouring activity books released in time for the new 2024-25 academic year, the friendly light-emitting insect chiefly stars within a mercifully short illustrated 2023 storybook, Yooki and the Union of the Forest, and an associated Learn With Yooki Activity Book, in which a war between different species of forest animals over jam and other such scarce natural resources is only narrowly averted thanks to the intervention of a giant enchanted glowing lantern – one that is shaped miraculously like one of the main EU Parliament buildings, and within which all the animals conveniently learn to talk to one another, compromise and make eternal peace in the rough manner of Jean Monnet.
This is all meant to stand in for how the EU supposedly saved Europe after World War II, with kids subsequently exhorted to engage in a series of bizarre and beyond-parody workbook exercises illustrating the need for Schengen-style freedom of movement for earthworms and a Common Agricultural Policy laboriously hammered out between woodpeckers and salamanders.
Written in prose so leaden not even an alchemist could save it, the whole Yooki series is a pathetically transparent attempt to brainwash children with a brand-new Left-wing political origin-myth for the continent to replace all those ‘outmoded’ old classical and Christian ones we’re all supposed to hate and forget about now, and a prime example of how the EU continually wastes its budget on complete, self-congratulatory drivel. Admittedly, they are at least free for all professional infant indoctrinators to download or order a physical copy of without any charge – but only at the point of ordering; in reality anyone who signs up for one will have already paid for it unknowingly via their previously stolen tax-money.
The parent Forest book opens with some preparatory small-print aimed at teachers, advising them that it is aimed at the seven to nine age-group, and is “designed to explain to children… what the European Union is and how it came about” as well as “the key reason why the European Union was founded: to keep peace between its Member States”. Absolutely fascinatingly for the average seven year-old, “in addition, it explains the role of the European Council and the Council of the European Union as the house of the Member States”. Perhaps it also explains the difference between the Judean People’s Front and the People’s Front of Judea while it’s at it?
Magic Lantern Show
As the story begins, Yooki’s sensitive antennae are throbbing painfully at the sound of a loud argument playing out across his enchanted Euro-forest. Lilou, “leader of the earthworms”, is distressed her habitat has just been caused to collapse after being invaded and annexed like the Sudetenland by the mighty Führer of the salamanders, Frida. “Go away, this is my land!” screams the unacceptably nationalist-minded Lilou, but Frida is largely unapologetic: all her race’s vital stores of jam have gone missing, it being well-known that amphibians of the order Caudata exist largely upon fruit-based spreads. Soon, other rival species are getting involved in the nascent conflict and, before you know it, Wood War III breaks out – not over Poland this time, but over jam. Ironically, peace could just not be preserved.
His poor antennae still pulsing, Yooki seeks advice from the wisest old tree in the forest, Arber, who tells him of how, not so very long ago, the grandparents of all the Euro-animals had fought amongst one another in precisely the same fashion, leading to the continent’s near-destruction. The only way they had been able to avert Animal Armageddon was to agree to meet up within a magical shining building hidden away somewhere deep within the trees, called ‘The Lantern’, whose amazing, quasi-religious qualities somehow allowed all those who entered it as sworn enemies to walk out paw-in-paw as perpetual pacifist friends, the German wolf and the French lamb lying down together as one. Yooki had always thought tales of the Lantern were mere utopian myths, but no. The Lantern is real, and it looks like this:
By pure coincidence, meanwhile, one of the main Brussels assembly buildings of the EU, The Europa Building, just happens to look like this when drawn on the European Council’s current official logo:
Pick up your pencils and spot the difference, kids!
At this point, Yooki successfully gathers up all the warring animals, herds them inside the Lantern and, under the influence of its enchanting bureaucratic spell, they each learn how to negotiate and make peace. How so? Well, in true Schengen fashion, their sagacious leaders agree unquestioningly to instantly abolish all unnecessary trade-impeding internal borders by virtue of allowing the earthworm-race to “dig tunnels under the entire forest” like a benevolent vermiform Hamas, and for all species to share their excess annual jam-harvests with one another forever in a rough analogue of the Common Agricultural Policy, The End.
Except… not quite The End, because the EU process is perforce one of ever-greater enlargement, with an outside centipede, perhaps of Turkish, Albanian or Ukrainian origin, observing how successful the organisation is and immediately applying for provisional full membership status. “Together, we shine!” concludes Yooki, a possible oblique reference to the current obvious success of EU green energy security policy. His own personal on-board abdominal light-source is, of course, 100% naturally renewable.
Exercises in Futility
The storybook’s associated activity workbook, designed to relentlessly ram home the exceedingly unsubtle message that, without the EU, every last member of the class reading it would starve in a fascist bomb-crater and die, is even worse. It honestly features “fun” – the actual word its rather optimistic authors use – exercises such as the below pair of comically soporific horrors, which are quite beyond all adequate verbal description:
Would you be happy with your child being force-fed worthless cartoon agitprop like this to read by their teachers? Perhaps not, but how likely is it that such a thing will ever really actually occur? Oddly enough, on its site, the Publications Office of the EU provides no specific figures proudly boasting about how many copies of Yooki’s incredible adventures have thus far been printed, distributed to schools or downloaded by teachers across the continent in any one of the EU’s many official languages. I suspect this may be because said sum total hovers around embarrassingly somewhere very close to zéro, nichts, nul, cero, or at least I sincerely hope this may be so.
Most likely, any halfway sensible teachers across Europe will take one look at these dismal sub-literary products and decide to read genuine small kids’ classics like The Very Hungry Caterpillar with their young charges instead, possibly whilst opportunistically recasting the story as a potential metaphor for unsustainable EU budget demands and welfare spending while they’re at it, with Mario Draghi as the greedy fat grub in question, just to spite the books’ hubristic producers.
Educationalists should not be too hasty in their dismissal of these propaganda texts’ potential pedagogical utility, however. After all, by boring them substantially along the path into an early grave, they will doubtless teach fledgling readers a highly useful lesson in life: that the European Union has a very cavalier attitude indeed towards the spending of their parents’ hard-earned tax-money on complete and total nonsense which serves no good or useful purpose to its actual citizens whatsoever.
Being a freeborn Englishman myself, I give nightly praise to the Almighty Lantern that, thanks to the true magic of Brexit, the real Yooki within which I live, work and pay my taxes is no longer a part of the whole failing Union of the Forest at all any more. And that, dear children, is this story’s real Happy Ending.
Steven Tucker is a journalist and the author of over 10 books, the latest being Hitler’s & Stalin’s Misuse of Science: When Science Fiction Was Turned Into Science Fact by the Nazis and the Soviets (Pen & Sword/Frontline), which is out now.
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Translating the manager-speak into English yields We had to sack the innocent victim of our contractor because he was clearly an innocent victim.
And he was White. If he was Black applause would have erupted and the Burn Loot Murder fist displayed.
Blacks do use the n-word all the time in their colloquial speech.
Does that make them racist?
Is Homey or Homeboy also racist ?
How about Oreo?
Or Gammon?
well done..
What is so bloody obvious is that this should never have happened…
…Firstly and very obviously a person shouldn’t be hired as a race educator if they find words to do with race or education threatening or so bad they have to have a week in bed!! Unbelievable!
Second, having looked at the evidence..and the gross over-reaction….what cretin decided it needed to go any further?..and exactly how many more cretins were in the hierarchy as it marched its way upwards?? Why haven’t they been named and shamed?
…and third, something I have said many times…who is the pathetic person who was incapable of being an adult, doing their job and who needed a week off?
We should be told their name…I am sick of these people starting these attacks on other people’s livelihoods and reputations, seemingly eager to ruin people’s lives while they hide behind anonymity?
Firstly and very obviously a person shouldn’t be hired as a race educator if they find words to do with race or education threatening or so bad they have to have a week in bed!! Unbelievable!
The real job of this race educator aka CRT consomething (better avoid misgendering it) is to yell at white people older than it that they’re guilty being white and demand that they have to do something about this. As that’s inherently a scam, it has to be maintained by vicious playacting. Nobody believes this entity suffered anything from having been presented with such a golden opportunity to do his real job — make sure those mid-level managers know who has the power to harm them.
Quite agree. The person was obviously unfit for the role but also, you have to ask yourself, how do such people even get through life? If you’re going to be that traumatized by a word ( they weren’t, they were just taking the pish and wanting to skive ) then you really do need to work on your coping mechanisms for going about daily life as an autonomous and responsible adult who’s job it is to interact with all sorts of people, therefore I think they should be laid off and sent for a mental health assessment because they sound completely pathetic and not the full shilling.
LOL! 100%! You have to wonder what happens if everything doesn’t go their way..no milk for breakfast..week in bed!
Someone gives them the V sign as they are driving..week in bed….!
partner falls out with them..week in bed!
God knows how long they’ve have to have off if something serious happened!!!???
Yes well if even Macbeth is now deemed racist this guy saying the ‘N’ word hasn’t got a hope in hell of getting away with it. Stop the crazy bus, I want to get off!
”In the latest instalment of ‘Anti-Racist Shakespeare’ webinars hosted by the Bard’s Globe Theatre in London, assistant professor of English at Trinity University in Texas Kathryn Vomero Santos declared that the language in Macbeth demonstrates the alleged racial bias of the 17th century playwright.
According to comments reported by the Daily Mail, Vomero Santos claimed in the discussion that the use of words such as bat, beetle, black, and night could be seen as examples of “racialised” language in the play that examines the corrupting nature of power.
Pointing to a scene in which the lead character is referred to as “black Macbeth”, the American academic reportedly said: “I think that it’s important to help our students to see the ways in which a play we might not recognise immediately as a ‘race play’ is relying on racialised language and playing on the dichotomy of whiteness and blackness and dark and light.”
https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2023/09/03/shakespeares-macbeth-branded-as-racist-for-themes-like-darkness/
Oh, ffs. That Santos woman should be put on a dhingy and left in the Channel. For our safety.
It’s amazing that people with such a crude and simplistic worldview command so much influence, especially in Academistan. Apparently, it never occurred to this always electrically lighted dingbat that the reason why darkness is associated with evils and dangers is that the night is a mysterious and dangerous period of the day to people who rely mostly on their eyes to gain vitally important information about their surroundings. She’d probably regard that as exactly the other way round: To her, black wouldn’t signal danger because nights are black and dangerous but nights would be called black by racists because racists always associate black with bad. And – of course – people celebrating sunrise as the start of the new day wouldn’t celebrate the return of the light which is critically important to them – Light comes from electricity, dude, try fooling someone else! – but celebrate blackness being overcome by whiteness because of their racism.
I still think we should urgently return to Nietzsche’s Was geht mich das Geschwätz amerikanischer Wirr- und Flachköpfe an! (Amercian muddleheads blathering doesn’t concern me in the slightest!)
The irony is that these people are not capable of reading the whole text to which they object!
So all that stuff about war, lust for power, multiple murders, revenge, insanity, suicide – all white on white action, don’t forget – pales into insignificance because Duncan slept at night and you generally can’t see ghosts in the daytime? Who knew…
Well done the FSU – a fine organisation.
My default assumption about any large organisation, public or private, is that I would be unable to work for them as I would fail the induction. I am lucky that I am close to retirement and will not need to look for another job.
Agreed. I suspect that this is a factor in so many nearly-retired people who can afford it, not to bother seeking employment after the Covid Lockdowns.
They don’t want to play the woke games.
This story is completely surreal and shows haw badly in trouble we are.
1. It no longer surprises or offends anyone that a group of people are rounded up, implicitly accused of being racists and bigots and forced to receive re-education on the subject. That alone is just mind boggling and sickening.
2. It seems no one thought to challenge this “trainer” about who they were and what exactly gave them the right or authority to lecture another set of adults on the subject.of racism. I can only imagine what bullshit credential the person might have had.
The insane over reaction and lynching of the Lloyds employee could only have happened if those first two completely mad circumstances were allowed to take place.
And his defence was that he wasn’t trying to be offensive? For god sakes, the man has been insulted every step of the way, from the moment he was rounded up and assumed to be racist right to when he was dismissed. And he, the only one who was actually innocent of anything is the one crucified.
We”ve gone completely insane as a society.
Very well put. Forcing people who’ve always done their jobs to everyone’s satisfaction (within the usual limits), including that they always treated their colleagues and subordinates of doubtlessly many different ethnic backgrounds in the proper way into such courses on a presumption of inherently guilty whiteness is a form of abuse.
That is a fine post and needed to be made.
Why did he apologies? Why did Lloyds consider it very important to humiliate it’s staff with this training following the manslaughter of a Mr Floyd in another country on another continent? Did Lloyds think it’s staff complicit?
I would like to find a bank that does NOT do DIE training for it’s staff.
The whole point of all this nonsense is to get you riled. Obviously they know its stupid. There is nowhere left for them to go. Imagine yourself as a member of a cornered elite without an exit ramp. Consider the desperate shenanigans that you will foster or manufacture in the final hours. It was never going to be pretty. You have to turn up to work with an inhibited gag reflex because that’s where we are in terms of their attacks on us. The best response is calm and equanimity because that just makes them more exasperated.
A while back now, a black musician/band (I forget who) invited a white woman up on stage to sing along to a favourite track.
The track happened to contain the dreaded-N, and the moment she sang that lyric they stopped with ‘woah, woah, woah, you can’t say that. I think the crowd got involved too. That was a pure ambush and made me so angry for the double standards on display.
I like Cyprus Hill, “Insane in the Membrane” and I sing all the words, including that one. I’m not making a radio-friendly edit, it’s the damn song so I’ll sing it, but perhaps not at full volume in the street.
I also might not repeat a Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy joke. I’m not that insensitive. But I’d certainly laugh at one.
But this guy’s question was reasonable and insightful, and addressed the double-standards mentioned here.
You have this category of ‘black man’ who is supposed to be ever so aggrieved. If you’ve grown up in a British city black or white you can look at this crap and conclude that it is nonsense or written by aliens. It has no relationship to real life. The future is analog big time you can see that in buying trends because mass consciousness understands on some level that this is all crap.
If this story was in a fictional novel or drama, you’d think it’s too implausible.
Does anyone believe this claim?:
“After the course, the trainer claimed she was so offended by use of the n-word that she was too sick to work and took five days off.”
Yep. It’s like something out of a cheesy Victorian melodrama when the fey female character gets a fit of the vapours because her corset is too tight or something. Abso-bl**dy-lutely pathetic.
Five days…. she should have been given this. It would have sorted the silly woman out in no time.
https://www.expresschemist.co.uk/MacKenzies-Smelling-Salts-17ml.html?msclkid=912f1451458415ad2c2170a7a5ea35ee
Reverse impostor syndrome: Everyone, including herself, knows she’s just faking it. But as political correctness demands that nobody’s allowed to point this out, it works. One should also take into account that yelling abuse at strangers is a very demanding job. I bet after two days, her voice is so hoarse that she just can’t yell anymore and has to take the remainder of the week off because of this.
Keep the charade going on long enough so that you can get away with all the spoils. Doesn’t matter the whole point of the deflection is to get you to look away from the real robbery. We are in the final stages. They won’t get away with the robbery but they will make life very difficult for the rest of us. That is why we need to put on the full armour of God, the breastplate of righteousness. Doesn’t matter if you believe in a deity or not just understand where we are at and the force we oppose.
“Political correctness is communist propaganda writ small. In my study of communist societies, I came to the conclusion that the purpose of communist propaganda was not to persuade or convince, not to inform, but to humiliate; and therefore, the less it corresponded to reality the better. When people are forced to remain silent when they are being told the most obvious lies, or even worse when they are forced to repeat the lies themselves, they lose once and for all their sense of probity. To assent to obvious lies is in some small way to become evil oneself. One’s standing to resist anything is thus eroded, and even destroyed. A society of emasculated liars is easy to control. I think if you examine political correctness, it has the same effect and is intended to.”
Anthony Malcolm Daniels Theodore Dalrymple
When the so-called Trainer stated at the start of the indoctrination that it was a “safe space” where people could express themselves and if they made a mistake it would be forgiven, she was effectively setting up a situation where one person would take the invitation at face value and walk into a trap.
It was deliberate.
“After the course, the trainer claimed she was so offended by use of the n-word that she was too sick to work and took five days off.”
Says it all really!
Race educator. Family and life are responsible for that.
I was fortunate. Sent to Prep school, by the age of ten I had a Jewish mate, a Muslim mate, and my best friend had a Nigerian dad (adored him. He had the best belly laugh I have EVER heard). Buttressed by parents who even back in the 50s made it clear we treated everyone the same, I needed no “education” about racism.
I now utter, in mi ‘ead, a stream of unprintable imprecations…
BTW, I’m half Paddy. Can we say that now? Or did I just insult myself?
..you sound as if you had a great early life….
but at the other end of the scale..me….born in a pit village, exceptionally white..very few other ethnicities..a few Polish…..went to a C of E Junior and senior school..again, very predominantly white…..but I was never taught to despise anyone…..and I never have..,,I think I’m very typical and ordinary….
I have always found people generally treat other people exactly the same, and have no evil or wicked intentions towards others generally..and when they do they are just nasty people..and can be of any race colour or creed…
I don’t think that anyone needs these lessons, because they aren’t about reality..or real situations…we have laws that cover that….….this is usually about some white people’s imaginings of some perceived racism….that doesn’t usually even actually exist other than in their head….and their ‘talking shops’….
It’s the same with most things….create a none-existent problem, so that you can invent a none-solution…..
Once 16, I worked when I was not being educated. Time to pay board and lodging. Motorway labour (M56 was being built south of M’cr, where I was brought up). And a great job at Robinson’s Brewery in Stockport (still a fabulous beer, still family owned). Didn’t come across any racism amongst my co-workers. Completely agree with what you write.