I was learning photography before this covid nonsense all kicked off, and I can genuinely say it is the only worthwhile thing in my life at the moment (apart from MrMyHomeIsMyCastle, of course).

I am either angry, depressed or frustrated at any given moment, or any combination of the three, often all three.

Photography takes me out of myself while I'm doing it, but as soon as I stop, the terrible trio return.

The only other thing that gives me any pleasure is breaking stupid rules: I actively seek out one-way systems so I can deliberately walk the wrong way round them. I was disappointed when the stupid new "traffic light" at the entrance to Tesco was at green, as I would have preferred to go into the shop while it was red.

Sorry, this is supposed to be a happy thread.

I am not happy.

You are none of the above. If you were, you would always be so.
They are all transient and all subject to conditions. They only cause upset if you energise them.
Save your energy for something better. You don't even need a camera. You can frame wonderful scenes with your bare hands. And then let go of them.
The potential is limitless.

You are none of the above. If you were, you would always be so.
They are all transient and all subject to conditions. They only cause upset if you energise them.
Save your energy for something better. You don't even need a camera. You can frame wonderful scenes with your bare hands. And then let go of them.
The potential is limitless.

Thanks for trying to help, but I am all three.

My mother was in a care home local to me. She was in her 80s, had been a completely independent woman, living in her own home with no support whatsoever, until early 2107, when she had a catastrophic stroke that left her bedbound and needing 24 hour care, and gave her vascular dementia into the bargain.

Just before official lockdown started, the nursing home phoned to say they were locking down (something they did whenever any nasty bugs were around).

About a week later, they told me my mum was ill, but was being cared for, had seen the doctor etc. Then a few days after that the said she was being sent to hospital.

Of course, I was unable to visit - she was on a respiratory ward, it was closed to visitors. We even tried pulling strings - we know a guy who works in the hospital, he tried cajoling the ward sister, to no avail.

I was told some euphemism that basically meant they were withdrawing treatment until she died.

Then I spent a week at home just jumping every time the phone rang.

Eventually in the early hours of Good Friday, I got The call.

I can't even think about this without welling up with rage - my mother was left to die alone in a strange place with no familiar faces around her. I was denied the one comfort in the world remaining to me, of being able to hold her hand. So inhumane, so evil. This is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I will never forgive those monsters who govern us.

And now they are telling us that idiotic masks can protect us from this "deadly" virus. If so, I could have worn the stupid mask and gone into the hospital in perfect safety. I would have worn whatever they told me to wear to have that one chance of being with her before she died.

I don't usually put this sort of stuff online, but I know I am among friends here. If I put this on Facebook, people would laugh.

Every day I see stuff in the media just as bad as this - I'm sure you'll have seen the story about the 31-year-old mother who died of cancer because her treatment was "paused". I've heard of pregnant women having to endure traumatic procedures and miscarriages while their partners have to sit in the car outside the hospital. Just the other day I read about a family with a child with Down's syndrome, who had a stroke. The hospital forbids his parents from being with him at the same time, so when they are most in need of each other's support, they barely see each other - just passing in the corridor for 5 minutes when they "change shifts".

I can't believe we allow ourselves to be controlled by such hideous, monstrous little Hitlers.

The inhumanity of what is going on just crushes a little bit of my soul every day. I want to howl with rage - at the government AND at the hysterical people who think the restrictions are worthwhile "if they save one life".

So - sorry - I really HAVE ruined your happy thread this time.

But I don't have happiness. I have a few distractions, that's all.

There needs to be a reckoning. People need to be held to account for the disaster that has been inflicted on this country and its people.

I am so sorry to hear how you and your mum suffered like so many others .its so sad it brought tears to my eyes.
No the lockdowns are not worth the human cost and they know it but they are following an agenda and plough on regardless because they dont give a shit
Yes you are among friends.
I wish you well and hope time eases your pain even though you will never forget.
I hope the bastards can be defeated before it's too late .they have the resources hopefully we have the numbers and human feelings.compassion and determination.
😀 x

So - sorry - I really HAVE ruined your happy thread this time.
But I don't have happiness. I have a few distractions, that's all

The thread is neither happy nor ruined. It is the participants - the people - that matter.
If we can take on board the traumas that you - and others - have gone through, our best response would be to offer support. Losing happiness does not help. Becoming sad does not help. Getting angry does not help.
Nearly three years ago, my partner died - and my father a week later. Both were very dear to me. In my mind, I can still hold my partner's hand. She does not need to physically be there. If I focus on the palm of my hand, I can almost feel the tingle!
Our departed loved ones would never want us to go through anguish and despair, nor to bear grudges and become angry. They would want the very best for us. We owe it to them as well as to ourselves.

My sadness and anger is for the unnecessary actions that have ruined lives and what this country is fast becoming.
😥